By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 13:48 - Canada - Bolton

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 754
You deserved it 5 809
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.

77 1

Comments

Pandacupcakelove 26

That "shit-joke"(?) was actually not that bad. Hats off to you.

13 0
gracehi 31

Must resist--the urge--too great--can't fight it-- GAH!--SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY SITUATION!!! *gets punched in face*

12 20
graffitied_love 20

Whats with the gets punched in the face? Did I miss something?

1 3
gracehi 31

I got punched in the face for using that cliche of a joke...punched 11 times.

2 1
mikeymayhem_87 15

When you're going for a jog...and you feel a soggy log.... Diarrhea... Diarrhea...

24 4
gracehi 31

"When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst diarrhea...diarrhea When you're sliding into third and you lay a great big turd diarrhea...diarrhea When you're siding into home and your pants are full of foam diarrhea...diarrhea" "Where did you learn that song, son?" "Baseball camp." "Ah. Well that was money well spent."

23 0
99megster 15

Oh god... That would be an extremely uncomfortable run home. Let's hope you had a cell phone on you so that you could call someone to pick you up O.o

4 2
mikeymayhem_87 15

I don't want anybody with poopy pants to sit in my car, especially since it is a fairly new car! >_>

4 1
99megster 15

Hahaha, true. I guess they could put a towel on the seat?

2 0
the_anti_hipster 7

Yep, would you want to make that call? "Yeah, um..can you come pick me up? Bring febreeze, some towels, and a change of clothes. Don't ask questions...and you might want to keep the windows open."

7 1
99megster 15

Well I would rather make an awkward phone call than run 5km with shit in my pants

3 0
music_woman1 11

If unsure about keeping it in, and in desperation.. ALWAYS USE THE BUSHES.. It's not as embarrassing as pooping yourself in front of people

3 3
olpally 32

Reminds me of the family guy episode where every time Peter hears a certain joke, he laughs and poops his pants at the same time. lol, at least the bushes would have provided some privacy op.

9 1
tomhofer 14

and then he wears quagmire's pants lol

2 0
perdix 29

Sounds like a... *lowers sunglasses* ...line, please?!?!

7 4
olpally 32

No line for you!! *punches perdix in the face* don't worry, I saved the world just now...

7 0
the_anti_hipster 7

Perdix, I believe the line you were looking for is punishable by a punch in the nads from everyone here. So pucker up or change your mind ;)

2 0
DontModMeDammit 10

I read "no line for you" as if it was "No soup for you!"

2 0
olpally 32

44- that's what I was going for... good job! *gives you a cookie*

4 0
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sounds like... *lowers sunglasses* Somebody's blasting music outside my apartment again. SHUT UUUUUPP! *this parody of an overused meme was brought to you by SqueakyChipmunk and the letter 4.* :D

4 1
SqueakyChipmunk 21

I know, right? I'm personally a fan of the letter 'Zoidberg'.

0 0