Health: Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had...

By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 13:48 - Canada - Bolton

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 5 809

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Same thing different taste

IBS?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a hike. About two miles into the five mile trail, my stomach started to bubble and I realized there were no bathrooms nearby. My only options were to literally shit my pants or shit in a bush. Well, I shit in the bush and had no tissue to wipe. I hate having stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 148

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 198

By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 027

You deserved it 1 948

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 629

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 522

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 380

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 104

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 4 July 2012 18:55

So you had the runs?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 4 July 2012 19:55

Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.

Comments

Spencer2597 10

Wednesday 4 July 2012 19:40

That's a shitty situation indeed.

phatdaddy62 23

Wednesday 4 July 2012 22:39

Ka-Bam!! I just gave you an epic shot to the crotch! You're welcome fellow FML'ers.

MakeTodayADTR 20

Wednesday 4 July 2012 20:10

Should have pulled a page from Borat's book and went in the bushes.

Herculesninja27 5

Wednesday 4 July 2012 20:28

Lmfao well there's your fire works for the 4th of july

ryguy83 2

Wednesday 4 July 2012 21:16

Done that before

morgiepuff 14

Wednesday 4 July 2012 21:55

What's with all the repeat FMLs lately? This is the third one I've seen that's been posted before. OP, always go for the bushes.

jordanlite 16

Wednesday 4 July 2012 23:00

You're a runner yet didn't know that running makes you poop? Ydi.

megamandude455 10

Thursday 5 July 2012 0:21

Happened to me last summer in a class I was taking. I made it though. >:D

trucker67 10

Thursday 5 July 2012 1:44

I'm a runner and I always bring a little TP with me , I've had those emergencies and was glad I came prepared .

Brilliant66star 17

Thursday 5 July 2012 3:13

I guess you've discovered your ilio-psoas muscles, which contract with each bound & every step, massaging your colon as you go. Ever notice how some older people like to take a walk after supper, like clockwork? That's because... they've discovered their ilio-psoas muscles, which contract with each bound & every step, massaging their colon as they go. Hey, now you know...