Love: Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 261

You deserved it 4 984

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 03/02/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 288

You deserved it 3 748

By zevil - 18/11/2008 16:54 - Peru

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 9 747

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 199

You deserved it 6 592

Mixed signals

By fuck - 18/04/2015 14:38 - United States - Saint Thomas

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 35 076

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 630

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 338

You deserved it 12 071

By Anonomous - 08/12/2014 17:58 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 906

You deserved it 3 899

Switcheroo

By Saberwolf - 13/02/2011 21:14 - United States

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 946

You deserved it 3 120

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 257

You deserved it 5 021

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 748

You deserved it 17 916

palmtrees 1

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:08

please tell me you left her there.

premiermois 5

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:16

Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.

Comments

premiermois 5

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:16

Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.

balkangiirl 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:09

I like the way you think ;)

Casualt1234 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:54

yeah i like that plan. the OP never said that the girl was his "big crush" or anything so there should be no problem telling her mom about the quickie.

radiocaf 29

Saturday 30 May 2015 11:54

This was what I came to the comments to suggest, contact her mother and let her know exactly what is going on.

Failzoid 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:16

She's a bitchhhhhhh. Ditch her. :)

fashionlover 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:17

WOW, u should of drove her car away

MaleficZero 0

Wednesday 26 September 2012 9:00

You* should have*

MaleficZero 0

Wednesday 26 September 2012 9:02

Driven*

leiziueyes 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:20

I hope you got out of the car and left

Spl4sh_fml 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:23

Oh man... ;(

Smiley_70 22

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:25

OK - why were you reading her text messages? I don't like the girl - you just don't do things like that. Dump her

HateMySister 6

Thursday 31 October 2013 2:08

Three things to do: 1.Drive away and keep the car for a week or so before returning i (don't want you getting arrested) 2.Keep the phone and change everything so it's unrecognizable 3.Tell the mom the decoy and give a bad description of the guy

princesspanda06 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:31

LOL damn.. I hope you felt her triflin ass. You should have drove off as soon as she got out of the car

Peroxide 3

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:34

piss in her gas tank, take a tire off and catch a cab home

mikew85 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 16:34

I wouldve left her there. Stupid bitch would learn her lesson if she had to walk home.

123sploosh 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 18:02

it was her car. you idiot.

divineinstrument 2

Sunday 19 July 2009 19:13

yeah, but if'd he drove away with HER car, she would have to walk AND she would lose both her car and her phone

sadistmonkey 19

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:27

and the OP would be arrested for driving a stolen car making this fml even more of an fml

razzumfrazzum 0

Monday 20 July 2009 7:51

Not if he drove it back to her house :D Assuming he knew where she lived, and that she left the key in the car. If that was the case, she couldn't report it stolen if it's sitting in the driveway. Or rather the cops couldn't do anything about it.