Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online....

By ninja_blasphemer - 25/07/2011 19:24 - Ireland

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 070

You deserved it 7 787

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Same thing different taste

By thatgirl - 10/10/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 108

You deserved it 3 557

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 103

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 202

Profile pictures

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 253

Proud boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 08:02

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 196

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 453

You deserved it 10 184

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 896

You deserved it 8 594

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 5 105

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 148

You deserved it 7 791

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 2 913

Airick_TheGreat 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:34

so I'm guessing the date went ok?

GigaPudding_fml 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:35

Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?

Comments

Footballfinatic 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:27

phail!!!!!!! that's such a fail I spelled it with a " ph"

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:38

Should have karate chopped his ass then been like "How do you like those ninja skills, bitch!"

Blakers2 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:43

wow

Blakers2 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:43

wow

daisycorp 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:48

Well obivously he wasnt drunk enough if he still thought you were ugly

XxThrasherxX 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:49

Sorry :/

The_Moustache 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:55

Hayyy boiiiiis! Think I got what you need, I got quite a 'stache on me.

loadingswagg__ 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:58

time for a lip wax maybe ? :)

musicfreak9821 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:04

that's wat u get for meeting d from online. ydi

Vmonster 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:07

a drunk mind speaks a sober heart?

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The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 074

You deserved it 3 431

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 397

You deserved it 5 121

The Top

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 947

You deserved it 9 786

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 279

You deserved it 9 704

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 1 650

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 2 680

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 3 954

Today, I saw that my boyfriend of 3 years had posted pictures with the girl he says he “sees as a best friend” wearing matching pajamas. He’d told me he wasn’t into the pajamas thing when I wanted to do it. He doesn’t get why I’m upset and told me I’m overreacting about some silly post between “two best friends.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 144