Dogs and Animals: Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to...

By kacysospacyy - 15/07/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 066

You deserved it 4 848

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Same thing different taste

By ks.swan13 - 22/12/2010 09:50

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 666

You deserved it 2 907

By Loveless - 05/06/2011 12:23 - Canada

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 528

You deserved it 8 211

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 040

You deserved it 4 035

RIP in peace

By down1dog - 26/07/2020 20:01

Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 147

By KMROYALShottie - 27/05/2009 04:50 - United States

Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 897

You deserved it 2 922

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 123

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 746

You deserved it 1 163

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 22:28 - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 169

You deserved it 4 748

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 706

You deserved it 3 182

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:40

But, if you ask me, it's not weird if the 15 year old is not home - but it sure is strange if the dog isn't!

tonydizzle 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:37

father of the year!

Comments

tom_es 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 22:14

I believe it is just because he trusts you

mruiz132 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 0:43

Shutup Meg >:|

mks100 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 0:59

that happened to me once....

garfield224 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 4:33

It's not strange for a person to be gone for ten minutes. But some one will notice if a dog gets out.

xxchampionxx 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 8:09

are absolutely horrible at taking hints

natasharox 3

Sunday 17 July 2011 9:42

maybe it's because he trusts you won't go wandering off somewhere like the dog =D take this as a compliment

kibbs20 0

Monday 18 July 2011 5:26

thats so sad i feel so bad for you. ): it hurts to be not wanted. thats why i sit in my room all day by myself

lovelinkinpark 1

Monday 18 July 2011 7:27

Dogs are better you waste less money lol

unixdude 9

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:28

Hey, subby, I have some free candy in the trunk of my car. No, really....

iluvhollister512 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:39

he probably assumed, since you left, you'd be okay alone. but the dog could've actually ran away

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The Top

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 733

You deserved it 6 765

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 15 898

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 613

You deserved it 74 080

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 131

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 85 120

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 371

You deserved it 9 818

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 3 534

Same thing different taste

RIP in peace

Memory man

Good boy

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