Miscellaneous: Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks...

By Kaboom - 21/04/2009 12:52 - Canada

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 670

You deserved it 19 670

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Same thing different taste

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 28 463

Generous

By cAtaLanbLoOd - 24/10/2013 06:06 - France - Perpignan

Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 51 639

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 1 542

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

By wishihadpockets - 28/01/2010 10:24 - United States

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 43 252

With friends like these…

By Poor as fuck - 29/05/2019 22:07

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 328

By Poser - 20/12/2009 04:24 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 46 168

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 75 204

By Anonymous - 30/05/2011 08:28 - Australia

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 237

You deserved it 11 893

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 87

flirty19 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:02

YDI for smoking.

Lizzy86 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 20:02

haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.

Comments

chea_chea 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:08

It's really quite a shame that there are more comments chastising the fact that the OP smokes than discussing the FML itself. Let me just say, I would love to be able to just quit at the drop of the hat, and have tried many times, but it REALLY isn't that easy to do. So cut people some slack, you don't know the reason behind why they continue smoking, and what problems they might be having that are preventing them from quitting. I could tell you some (or many) of mine but by the sound of it, I would be wasting my time. Because after all, I'm not a human, I'm just a useless smoker!

the_question_mar 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:18

HAHA YDI FOR SMOKING!!!

tko 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:22

it should read: "today, i'm a f***ing retard because i smoke cigarettes. FML

lifeislife_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:31

My mom got lung cancer and she never smoked. Just wanted to throw that out there. I guess I should say FML, so FML. And no one DESERVES cancer; that's just wrong. True, you can get cancer from pretty much anything, but smoking increases the chances greatly and can't be compared to eating grilled food or whatever, like someone said.

lowcapacityx 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:40

AHAHAHAHA! Homeless people are funny.

Asmoday_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 6:09

a black hobo i assume

sameoldsameold 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:52

did you tell the asshole to get a job?

Asmoday_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 6:11

a black hobo i assume

babawaba 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 6:12

@#154: Pretty sure ridicule can help you quit. Now be a good kid and enjoy your cancer.... Oh and be sure to tell your family or whoever hangs around you to enjoy it too, since residual smoke is even worse than smoking.