Kids: Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt...

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 01:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 326

You deserved it 65 370

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Same thing different taste

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 5 939

By Lame - 10/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 932

You deserved it 6 793

By ahuman - 29/09/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 767

You deserved it 9 771

By Anonymous - 02/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 071

You deserved it 17 885

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 713

You deserved it 10 115

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 315

You deserved it 7 816

By cganon - 21/09/2010 12:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 5 029

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 069

You deserved it 9 529

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

marinus_fml 19

Monday 8 November 2010 8:37

You deserve it for thinking you're a ninja!

HeroOfWar 0

Monday 8 November 2010 8:38

Ydi, the kid was right.

Comments

TheQuiet 2

Tuesday 9 November 2010 22:02

little kids are some sneaky bastards.

vbplayerr25 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 3:45

hahaa little kid = win :D

diensthunds 8

Wednesday 10 November 2010 3:59

The kids right that's what you get for false advertising

Wheels6130 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 4:20

wow u suck nice reflexes

glendazavala94 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 15:10

well, he was right :]

shitty_day 2

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:24

hahaha that kid is awesome

gottaplayfootbal 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 2:55

the kids right

angel0811 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 6:58

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

CrazyChickenCat 0

Friday 12 November 2010 5:28

what an awesome little kid!

Scopium 0

Friday 12 November 2010 20:45

You are so not Naruto lol! Practise wut your shirt says.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

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You deserved it 532

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 6 528

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 422

Today, I bought some mouse traps that instructed me to avoid touching them with my bare hands, as human smells would deter the mice from the traps. I was woken up at 2 a.m. by a mouse crawling on my head. I don't think my smell is an issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 99

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 452

You deserved it 2 165

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude, how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guy's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 928

You deserved it 71 340

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 017

You deserved it 997

Same thing different taste

Do it again!

Fight Club

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