Intimacy: Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The...

FML for mobile
Free

By sad_gay - 16/04/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 267

You deserved it 17 044

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Jebus - 23/01/2009 13:31 - Canada

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 810

You deserved it 2 433

Peter and Pan

By dudeWTF - 03/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 183

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 863

You deserved it 4 616

By whatever - 09/08/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 902

You deserved it 27 401

By Anonymous - 21/12/2016 05:35

Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 433

You deserved it 758

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 013

You deserved it 5 148

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 130

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 018

You deserved it 12 628

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 636

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 887

You deserved it 5 547

YerPal 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:02

That's so hot!

Gringo_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:06

Threesome?

Comments

YerPal 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:02

That's so hot!

KingsofOmega 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:02

LOL

JD797 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:03

Sounds like you're not missing out on much, lol...

ravirobin 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:04

HAHAHA, can't stop laughing.... you should have taken picture and showed it to them later...

scorpioserpent 1

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:06

awww sucks for being too nice :/

Gringo_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:06

Threesome?

theosguardian 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:06

what did you expect... three gay guys in one car and two were drunk... you should have joined in :)

Jaywin 3

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:15

Number 6 has the right idea. You're in a great position for a threesome. Go for it!

Sure_Thing 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:17

And THIS is why you always take public transportation.

intensify 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:17

I'm not sure why you were going out with both guys at the same time... there's no way this could have turned out well

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dogs Love Money Divorce AITA Kids Housework Awkward Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Alcohol Ironic Work Public freakouts Fight Parenting Intimacy Weird Underwear Sex Miscellaneous Cats Keys Landlords Break-ups Relatable Cooking Food Technology

The Top

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 848

You deserved it 6 672

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 3 284

The Top

Today, I was extremely stressed because I lost my ATM card, so I reconstructed my day, eventually finding it in the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 183

You deserved it 1 393

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 582

You deserved it 3 186

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 799

You deserved it 6 557

Today, I had to ask my sister if she'd shit her pants because the smell of poop was following us around Paris. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I had to ask an eighteen-year-old, or that she said yes and didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 812

You deserved it 1 203

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 592

You deserved it 3 830

Today, I live in a tiny village in the countryside. Nice and quiet, right? Wrong. The farm next door rents out their land to some kind of soil processing company. Basically, it’s like living next to a never-ending construction site that knows neither Sundays nor holidays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 76

Same thing different taste

Peter and Pan

Next

Cheers

Top comments

Comments