Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so...

By charitableidiot - 05/06/2014 22:23 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 43 085

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Same thing different taste

By ssondik - 22/06/2015 00:50 - United States - Hebron

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 112

You deserved it 5 182

By John - 01/04/2017 08:00 - United States

Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 065

You deserved it 661

Garden party

By Awkward is my name - 09/07/2023 12:00

Today, at a philanthropic event in some old money rich family's garden, I told my daughter she'd have to improve her table manners if she wanted to marry a nice man like that. I looked up and our host was standing right there, looking sternly in our direction. I smiled but he didn't smile back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 1 028

By NotRetarded - 11/04/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 138

You deserved it 3 867

Who the **** are you?

By silly_billy - 11/06/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 370

You deserved it 54 742

By bubblegummm13 - 27/09/2009 04:30 - Canada

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 486

By apparently_disabled - 17/04/2015 06:24 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 141

You deserved it 2 937

I'm busy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 08:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 177

By E.S. - 23/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 182

You deserved it 41 003

Nice try

By damn... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 136

You deserved it 6 391

lonelyfreak_fml 17

Friday 6 June 2014 8:59

That's crazy talk...

icnburbbygrl 23

Friday 6 June 2014 8:58

Ouch. Hopefully they weren't too mad

Comments

Mandybruin 15

Friday 6 June 2014 22:25

Is it wrong that I already decided that the OP deserved it when he called himself a schmoozer and decided to introduce himself to "someone important"?

AloysiusWeasley 15

Saturday 7 June 2014 5:34

Nope, same here.

davek 36

Friday 6 June 2014 23:33

Madness? This is Sparta!

mkayden 23

Friday 6 June 2014 23:37

We all make mistakes OP, but next time you want to pretend to care about a charity you might want to make sure who or what they support.

tehdarkness 21

Friday 6 June 2014 23:47

That's a weird thing to say anyways. You never know if the person you are talking to has a sense of humor or not. For a self described schmoozer, you are lacking some basic schmoozing skills.

joetxhunk 3

Saturday 7 June 2014 4:36

I nearly pissed myself lol

LibertySteak 7

Saturday 7 June 2014 10:08

That was a pretty stupid way to say it anyway though, wasn't it?!

pjsmamasan 10

Saturday 7 June 2014 10:11

I work in mental health...if you can't laugh a little, you'll go crazy, no pun intended. But considering it was a charity event and a fancy evening, forgetting why you were there have have been your bigger issue :- lesson learned!

havahnegila 22

Saturday 7 June 2014 14:04

I would have laughed at that. They have no sense of humor ;) But I also like puns. And for people here w no sense if humor I'm an advocate w those who have mental disorders.... Just know how to laugh too :)