Health: Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that...

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 05/08/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 083

You deserved it 45 436

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 523

You deserved it 39 344

By Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 899

You deserved it 69 426

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By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 166

You deserved it 21 754

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 91 021

By Anonymous - 21/01/2013 12:48 - United States - Baltimore

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 343

You deserved it 4 418

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 24 811

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 46 127

schwancy 2

Saturday 14 August 2010 9:19

obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....

Freeze_fml 16

Saturday 14 August 2010 9:26

People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.

Comments

walkingd3ad8 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 20:29

WOWWWWWW you fat assssssssss zebra. rolls are nasty.

ipfire 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 20:47

Some people like women with meat on their bones. The OP may not be jellyroll fat... just a little thick. Not everyone likes ribs!

tb15 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 21:49

If you're vain enough to get a spray tan. Why have you not lost weight, OP. I wonder if the op has a glandular problem

Brittney_E 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 21:49

agreed.

suprmidgt 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 21:59

gross

hate_spoons 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 23:44

your a fatass op. loose so weight or die

me_777_love 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 23:49

ydi for getting a fake tan

uupa99 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 0:08

that's why you wait till your thin

jdfml90 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 0:55

No sympathy from me, you are fat. Deal with it.

Scoutman 5

Sunday 15 August 2010 2:10

no one cares if a fat ass has a "tan". put the fork down

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Same thing different taste

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