Intimacy: Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched...

By Trainer Calypso - 27/11/2014 20:38 - United States - Schofield

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 074

You deserved it 4 105

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Same thing different taste

By aranya - 14/06/2012 22:51 - Netherlands - Hengevelde

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 809

You deserved it 3 887

No thanks for you

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, it was Thanksgiving and the first time my boyfriend would be meeting my whole family. He was nervous so he started drinking. By the end of the night, he was belligerently drunk and kissed my aunt twice thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 127

Detective work

By broken vows - 15/03/2014 21:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 469

You deserved it 4 869

Awkward silence

By daughter in law - 08/11/2016 06:05 - United States

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 1 525

By Lisa - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 1 424

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 243

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 884

You deserved it 2 608

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 057

You deserved it 3 932

Googolman 29

Friday 28 November 2014 0:21

Maybe it was her way of saying thanks.

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 28 November 2014 0:26

Looks like the turkey wasn't the only thing getting stuffed.

Comments

Stfu2048 9

Friday 28 November 2014 1:41

New eyes aren't the only thing you'll need.

patrickeli 15

Friday 28 November 2014 1:49

Ugh, that's disgusting. You need a new uncle.

Bragi 12

Friday 28 November 2014 2:01

Your uncle is pimp. Be him.

vikky538 28

Friday 28 November 2014 2:06

and so does she..needs new lips...

Migole 36

Friday 28 November 2014 2:16

When things like this happen (if it really was a bj) I always wonder how little respect these people seem to have. Just like having sex in other peoples houses. I mean, wtf, can't you people contain yourselfes for a couple hours and not spread you body fluids on others possesions? I guess you wouldn't want someone to come over and lick/piss all over your dinner table and pillow ...