Miscellaneous: Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a...

By dangit - 11/09/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 042

You deserved it 14 268

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Same thing different taste

By steven - 24/01/2013 05:16 - United States - Orinda

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 181

You deserved it 34 380

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 648

Cooking with Anon

By Anon - 08/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, after meaning to do so for a while, I began cleaning my oven. I sprayed it with the foam cleaner stuff, closed the oven for the foam to soak in, then forgot about the whole thing. Later, I preheated the oven for a pizza and triggered a smoke alarm, which brought the fire department to my door. No pizza, just shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 595

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 512

You deserved it 801

Fire hazard

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 580

You deserved it 4 136

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 520

You deserved it 15 619

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 963

You deserved it 3 200

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 303

You deserved it 5 919

Eventful day

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 23:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 141

By shinee - 15/08/2010 16:05 - Singapore

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 3 631

ericwashere 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:54

The cookie monster is disapointed in you

lindseyluvszac 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:14

Hurry and extinguish it and say 'That's what you do in case of a small fire.' So that would be the finale to your whole responsibilty speech

Comments

jennyc246 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:34

:O you don't use an oven timer? bad baker.

slipknotz 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:38

Finish your lecture with a bang! Or a flame.

Hockey_fan 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:43

I know right?...they might be a little burnt but eat around that and were all good!

VickLynx 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:54

Well atleast they know you are not responsible.

ImmaB3AST 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 13:13

Just say they're Cajun and they will eat it anyways.

way2sl0w 1

Sunday 11 September 2011 13:20

Looks like the OP's plans... *sunglasses* ...just backfired!

aligiorav 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:37

Looks like your joke... "sunglasses" ...is lame

MrLookAtThere 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 15:21

It looks like we've got ourselves... *sunglasses* ...a repetitive joke

AnagenisisZagus 13

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:46

Disgrace. I am utterly disgusted. Hand over those sunglasses. You don't deserve to wear them.

KrisNico03 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:02

Sooooo, did you get in?

soccer4life20 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:35

Just be like "siiike! Forgot to make cookies" they won't care. Duhh.

touch_the_sky 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:40

But they've already seen the fire.

aligiorav 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:40

"Yeah, that smoke and smell coming out of the oven is your imagination, I never made cookies..."

nolarboot 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 23:54

*Psych. Sorry, had to.

meatloaf123 3

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:48

Just blame it on somebody else

NeverShoutDana 13

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:57

Blame it on the ah-a-a-ah-a alcohol.

perdix 29

Sunday 11 September 2011 15:00

If you have small ****: Aw, I'm sorry. If you have big ****, don't worry, you're in. Everyone loves big **** -- even straight women, because they bring good luck and smiles wherever they are.

elisabeth1_fml 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:37

Unless you're a woman with poached eggs and feels self conscious cause then you ain't getting in. Lol

perdix 29

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:31

You see, the wise flat-chested woman will realize that the woman with big **** in close proximity will attract more male attention than she can handle, and she'll be able to scoop up the cast-offs with ease. Often, the big-titted gal will attract so many horndogs that the quality of her rejects is better than the guys who are going for the "poached eggs" out of the chute.