Love: Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was...

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 9 613

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 54 851

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 967

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 151

You deserved it 3 360

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 10 661

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 199

You deserved it 8 411

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 142

Dead giveaway

By Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 4 903

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 6 911

therevolution 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 9:06

sounds like a hot mess

princesslayha 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 15:49

yea and if you ever say that to a girl you won't get any sex cooking or cleaning ^

Comments

divali 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:05

Mark on your head? Didn't your hair get burned? Oh,you bald? :-/ Well,doesn't matter,stay positive! ;)

restythestar 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:16

"while" she was cooking..

cufaoil 11

Wednesday 3 November 2010 11:18

should have been whilst she was cooking.... sounds like he was pan handled by his gf....

xStiina 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:28

Hahaha, well at least she knows how to defend herself.

Mario9587 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:49

Lol!!! Sorry to read that. It can haooen yo evetybody.

Zachthehayn 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:52

Gah, I wouldn't even feel like eating

vballchick101 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 11:25

At least now you know she can defend herself.

FingerMyElmo 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:17

I wonder what Emeril would do If I kissed his neck.

vrbina 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:27

that's the worst of your problems?! get over it!!!

bharrell2010 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:49

burnnn! hah! (:

ascott35 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:52

lmao I was going to say that :o

Lizza330 28

Wednesday 3 November 2010 13:08

That would be the wrong thing to do. And what would that solve?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 3 053

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 097

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I wanted to be spoon-fed, affectionately NOT sexually. I think it's something to do with my eating, my parents, and developmental issues. Now he won't stop claiming it's really a fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 525

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 213

You deserved it 17 436

Today, I learned that my "Cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 266

You deserved it 42 648

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 338

You deserved it 3 161

Today, while on a weekend away, my boyfriend and I went for a walk. I now get to tell everyone the story of how my boyfriend got down on one knee into a pile of cow shit while proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 336

You deserved it 597

Same thing different taste

Sick burn

Third degree

Dead giveaway

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