Animals: Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest...

By killer - 16/05/2009 12:21 - Latvia

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 795

You deserved it 60 003

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Same thing different taste

By fishy situation - 13/06/2017 04:00

Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 074

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 22:40 - Sweden - V?ster

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 591

You deserved it 7 208

By My_Name_Is_Zach - 23/07/2012 03:48

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 625

You deserved it 2 550

By FlipYoC - 16/09/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 738

You deserved it 60 944

By PoachedFish - 29/12/2009 10:57 - Lebanon

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 3 056

By JoeyTheJedi - 18/10/2016 00:31 - United States - Batesville

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 429

You deserved it 1 324

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 3 625

By deadfish - 03/10/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 353

You deserved it 61 676

By Deadfish - 26/07/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 379

You deserved it 7 142

Harbinger of doom

By Harbinger of feline death - 06/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 121

levitate 3

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:05

Fortune tellers are full of BS. & you're just a neglectful goldfish owner. (:

TigressUK 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:09

A fish doesn't die if it isn't fed for three days. It must have had something else wrong with it.

Comments

ravinderkaler 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:14

Don't buy goldfish unless they wear sunglasses. Duh.

0geckofun_ 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:14

agree with #7

juliadream 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:16

Well. At least your "real" friends are safe, and now you believe in fortune tellers! We all win! Yay coincidences!

toxic10uhc 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:04

they mean they don't have real friends moron

aatomkins 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:16

Agree with #1 and #11 you don't deserve fish!

sheldon2121 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:16

hahahahahaha # 7 & 8 lololololololol

aquariusbeauty 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:17

it happens.

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:19

Aren't they more likely to die from over feeding rather than under feeding?

itzgiimo 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 6:01

yes. I put like half a teaspn worth of food to my Betta for food but it survives...

UGADawg08 1

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:20

You deserved it, for being stupid enough to go to a fortune teller, and even more stupid for actually being frightened by his/her words.

Senn7 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:21

Hm a goldfish as closest friend?

seonfire 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:22

Your goldfish is your closest friend? I think that fact would hurt more!

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The Top

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 130

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 10 416

The Top

Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 149

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 220

Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 213

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 328

You deserved it 6 891

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 918

You deserved it 4 387

Today, I almost got hit by a car because the kid in the back who was wearing headphones was paying more attention to the road than the driver. He only just stopped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 472

You deserved it 785

Same thing different taste

Harbinger of doom

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