Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open,...

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By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 769

You deserved it 13 864

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Same thing different taste

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 160

By tm - 18/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 858

You deserved it 2 103

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 1 407

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 525

You deserved it 3 399

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 122

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 122

You deserved it 3 817

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 4 400

Rough night, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 183

Deviated septum blues

By Trent - 19/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 64

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 140

krysxkatastrophe 14

Thursday 13 October 2011 0:06

Apparently you're so bad that the soap bottle told you to shut up.

matt120784 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 0:06

Busted lip? Probably a Chris Brown song...

Comments

ashleymwall 6

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:40

haha, that'd suck. :P

Stylin_Since_97 10

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:43

Singin, "I need a doctor, I need a doctor."

DoNotEnter 5

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:45

Why would you go to the ER for that?

MaskedAspen 6

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:46

how'd you manage that .. sounds like something I would do .. or have done ..

smexehXredhead0 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:46

Did it sound good when you sang it?

sallymander779 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:47

You went to the emergency room for a busted lip?

Ecklcakes 15

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:54

*Psssssssssssh*

thisisafunnyname 12

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:56

Did you at least finish singing the song?

hannahcorrine 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 2:24

Good cover up story

nothingtodisplay 7

Thursday 13 October 2011 2:30

Why the **** would you go to the hospital for a busted lip? If anything ydi for your stupidity

badactor009 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 12:04

For stitches if OP split the lip bad enough.

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The Top

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 962

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 4 031

The Top

Today, I asked my crush if she wanted to see a movie with me. She said no because she already saw it. The movie is coming out next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 390

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 363

You deserved it 51 863

Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 343

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 265

You deserved it 3 710

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 63 353

Today, to settle a bet with a friend, I took an online IQ test twice. The first time, I chose answers at random without reading the questions. The second time, I took it for real. I got a higher score from the random selections than from my serious attempt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 055

You deserved it 6 232