Weird, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We...

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 3 520

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Same thing different taste

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 495

You deserved it 3 467

By Creeped Out - 29/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 403

By EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 385

You deserved it 1 927

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 308

You deserved it 4 391

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 265

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 2 595

By Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 222

You deserved it 3 226

Time to run

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 06:21 - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 2 614

Besties

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Nottingham Road

Today, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved in with his mom. They've been in my face knitting and baking bread together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 95

By motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 292

You deserved it 4 370

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:40

Doughnt let him in your house!

LightningLadyy 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:46

That's not how you feel the bread.. You caress it like it is a beautiful woman.

Comments

Arseniy 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 5:38

Ask him to share sence of humor with you

bfflrhea 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 7:22

lmao!!! good luck op(:

barrelroll1472 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 7:39

He's hilarious! why are you complaining?

equineEthic 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 8:48

are you kidding?! I would be HONORED to have this man live in my house.

mandypandypants 4

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:41

Be sure to lock your underwear drawer when you leave. This guy seems like a total creeper.

yogendragusain 12

Sunday 16 January 2011 10:33

he is getting horny

mrjmaster1234 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 12:52

nasty......bread fetishism a serious mental illnes (which is slightly disturbing)

kirashendrickson 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 13:54

oh stop bitching, he was just joking. I'm sure his feelings would be really hurt if he saw this post.

ExposedFlipper 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 14:54

Seems like your gonna have a nice family, huh?

weissesengel 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 15:33

wtfs ur problem? -.- i do that all the time. i dnt mind embaressing myself and/or others in publik

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 4 035

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 988

You deserved it 1 026

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 286

You deserved it 440

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we caught some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 250

You deserved it 5 355

Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 134

You deserved it 3 161

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 355

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 157

You deserved it 2 658

Today, for the third day in a row, I was taking care of my girlfriend's kid. I love him, but if I have to play one more game of "Stuffy Hide and Seek", I'm going to rip my hair out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 154