Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 082

You deserved it 13 982

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 563

You deserved it 10 548

Spotted

By Taylor D - 07/08/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 4 516

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 281

You deserved it 4 578

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 218

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 1 816

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 871

You deserved it 4 425

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 481

You deserved it 5 354

By anonymous - 11/04/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 531

You deserved it 86 237

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

Comments

jacob150 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 5:21

your an idiot! your supposed to buy something else in addition to the vaseline!

Madman19 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 6:15

He would know from experience.....if any you may have given an idea of what to on his next bathroom break.

mecha_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:47

Story of my life bro.

DiAGO77 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:16

Use KY dude vaseline is old school and you would have saved yourself the humiliation becasue i'm sure he wouldn't have know what it is .

Lyynyyrd 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:13

Didn't read most of this shit, but... You're not supposed to use oil-based lubricants on your penis.

chelseybuns 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:47

Wow. You all really relate to this FML... that's really sad. you all have the same problems.... you really need girlfriends.

wtfxup 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:35

can't vaseline give you canceR?

iloveyouu_ 1

Saturday 4 April 2009 6:50

lmao lmao wow. go to a club.

IMz0r 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 7:45

#11.. Toilet Paper, Slimjims, and vaseline. That looks WAY worse than vaseline, trust me.

Body_piercer1984 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 9:03

Lube is a little less damaging when you get it in places you shouldnt... maybe you should pick that up next time

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Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing AITA Weird Am I overreacting? Dating Love Sleep Work Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

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Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 847

You deserved it 4 008

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 985

You deserved it 1 593

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 5 525

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 827

You deserved it 47 775

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

Today, I learned that the gentleman who found my wallet was not satisfied with the $300 cash and forged a check for a washer and dryer. I found out when I checked my account. It cleared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 416

You deserved it 175

Same thing different taste

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