Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 082

You deserved it 13 982

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 563

You deserved it 10 548

Spotted

By Taylor D - 07/08/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 4 516

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 281

You deserved it 4 578

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 218

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 1 816

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 871

You deserved it 4 425

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 481

You deserved it 5 354

By anonymous - 11/04/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 531

You deserved it 86 237

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

Comments

amykillswitch 0

Monday 30 March 2009 4:36

bahahah. that is amusing.

xandyx33 0

Monday 30 March 2009 4:45

Should have said "I'm gonna have an ANAL sex orgy at my house. Aww, I would've invited you if you can get hard."

ZuRG_fml 7

Monday 30 March 2009 4:49

Vaseline fails (impossible to clean up, gets tacky), KY fails (tacky). Astroglide is nice but it's a bit watery for my tastes. Silicone-based lubes like Eros are nice, but you can't use them with silicone toys and it's hard to clean up when you're done. "K, I don't need to be a waterslide anymore." My favorite is Liquid Silk. rawk.

Boowah 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:09

lawl, needz moar cowbell... but seriously, that old guy is my hero

chrisapoo23 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:17

haahahahhaha

MEGAJOSH 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:28

You should have taken a handful of vaseline and serviced his shriveled ****. It would have certainly stopped him from ever making remarks about your purchases in the future.

zachary918 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:28

Maybe you wouldn't have such trouble getting laid if you would actually spend a few extra bucks on real lube. Just saying. Not that lube will get you laid, but having a tub of vaseline in your bedroom is probably doing you no favors.

mariposa25 0

Monday 30 March 2009 5:37

I have a vaseline story for you, only I was the cashier. This old guy was buying it, and when I went to ring it up the lid came off and my fingers slipped in. I told him that we needed to get him another one. He looked me up and down and said, "No. I want to take this one."