Intimacy: Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me...

By liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 442

You deserved it 13 610

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Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 450

You deserved it 2 161

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 534

You deserved it 9 904

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 73 069

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 672

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 800

You deserved it 2 486

By legallyblondemad - 29/08/2009 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 954

You deserved it 5 289

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 562

You deserved it 10 953

Behave!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 284

You deserved it 1 129

Caught in 4K

By Nothing Special - 23/12/2015 06:54 - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 914

You deserved it 1 801

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

Spadiethestar 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:08

Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...

z620 0

Monday 22 February 2010 6:18

don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright

Comments

bollywood_rocks 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:05

Can I play devil's advocate here? No? I still will... 1. OP, I call you out because who has a first date on top of a mountain? You're both trying to impress each other on a first date.You went mountain climbing on a first date? 2. Are you sure HE KNOWS he's your boyfriend? Or did you just assume you two were in a relationship because he took you out ONCE? 3. How would you know your boyfriend's ringtone unless you've been snooping around on his phone or you've called to check with the phone in proximity? So I'll say if the above three is true,then YDI. YDI also because you assumed you were boyfriend-girlfriend without him saying so or you two talking about it. Sucker!

nanab10 0

Friday 26 June 2009 15:55

....that's stupid.

phantomofmusic 0

Monday 19 April 2010 16:30

She would know his ringtone if someone called him while they wer together. Not everyone remembers to turn off their phone for a date.

UGAstudent 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:05

How did you have phone service on a secluded mountain? Least you found out sooner than later. That sucks though.

sofarsogood 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:07

ok maybe they didn't have sex on their first date but really? you went on a secluded mountain on your first date - you are either naive or brave. im gonna go with naive.

GabriLee 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:08

17) You don't think this situation has happened more than once? I'm sure it happens a lot. People suck when it comes to being faithful because of the way sex and relationships are advirtised in the media. Suddenly it's normal to date a person who cheats on you - forgivable, even. this situation definitely sucks, but I'd never call it a fake.

null_fml 11

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:12

So, you went to a secluded mountain... your "secret date spot"... by yourself, eh?

xScarletx 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:13

# 33 really? You don't need to snoop someone's phone to know their ringtone, pretty sure that since it was her boyfriend, you know there were times when they were hanging out in which his phone rang...and I'm pretty sure she heard the ringtone a few times.

poolshark 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:17

#33- I advocate playing devil's advocate, but your #3 is ridiculous. I'm sure she knows his ring tone because she has been with him when he has received calls from other people.

judgeymcjudge 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 17:39

#12 Mindylou - Learn to read. They didn't have sex on their first date, they had their first date on the mountain. Christ. #33 Bollywood_rocks - There's "devil's advocate" and then there's just "dumb". Guess which one you fit into? What stupid reasons. I have no problem with the DA stance as long as it's done right. You pulled the most random, irrelevant reasons you possibly could just to make an argument. You = did it wrong. You, therefore, fail. OP: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Baseball bats. Seriously, though. That sucks, and you should let us know what happened after.