Intimacy: Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me...

By liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 442

You deserved it 13 610

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Same thing different taste

Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 450

You deserved it 2 161

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 534

You deserved it 9 904

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 73 069

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 672

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 800

You deserved it 2 486

By legallyblondemad - 29/08/2009 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 954

You deserved it 5 289

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 562

You deserved it 10 953

Behave!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 284

You deserved it 1 129

Caught in 4K

By Nothing Special - 23/12/2015 06:54 - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 914

You deserved it 1 801

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

Spadiethestar 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:08

Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...

z620 0

Monday 22 February 2010 6:18

don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright

Comments

ladedum 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:05

that is a fail if i've ever read one.

mangoid 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 21:16

#15, marry me. YDI for having a tool of a boyfriend. is he a white college freshman with dreads? if he is, YDI even more.

Hadeezz 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 21:30

Actually Its FYL. The thingy is how couldchu hear Bob marleys ring tone Far away, Its not even loud,Or maybe its just Another guy with Bob marleys ringtone...Bob is actually smoooooooooth. If i were you..I'd hold a stick and bone them in the ass, And none would find you.

rihannalover 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 21:56

aww, sorry! #64, go **** yourself, white people can have dreads too. how the **** would the OP deserve this..? it's not like the boyfriend was labeled a "tool" when the OP started seeing him. how would they know he's a ******* tard?

159753 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:02

#12: where in here does it say they had sex on their first date? i must have missed that part. and what do you mean not old enough to have sex? since when was there a set age to have sex?

lazyyygirl 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:13

#15, you suck

PFCAngelo 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:27

Today, I posted an anecdote on FML that is the exact same story in different context as every other poor bastards on that site and realized I'm a complete tool. FML

hoochaymamuh 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:31

that SUCKS

mobius8 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:37

So you were on a secluded mountain, and you see a couple making out, so, while standing within hearing distance of them, watching, you decide to call your boyfriend? That's pretty creepy, and I'm imagining you as an excessively haired, mouth breathing voyeur right now.

WinonaSmile 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:37

@32 - Verizon man! We gottcha covered. :D Dude, that's gay. Don't you just hate crazy coincidences? Remember: If a guy takes you to some "special" spot, you're not the first person he took and you won't be the last.