Intimacy: Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me...

By liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 440

You deserved it 13 610

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 450

You deserved it 2 161

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 533

You deserved it 9 904

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 73 069

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 672

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 800

You deserved it 2 486

By legallyblondemad - 29/08/2009 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 954

You deserved it 5 289

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 10 953

Behave!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 284

You deserved it 1 129

Caught in 4K

By Nothing Special - 23/12/2015 06:54 - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 913

You deserved it 1 801

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

Spadiethestar 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:08

Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...

z620 0

Monday 22 February 2010 6:18

don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright

Comments

fmlfmlfml15 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 22:59

Maybe it was a different guy.........who knew about the sercet spot too..........and also likes Bob Marley.......I got nothing. FYL

laupow89 4

Tuesday 28 April 2009 23:16

Wow, I wonder what #12 and #33 got on the Critical Reading section of the SAT. They MUST have gotten an 800... combined... Let's address a few things, because more than a few posters here have proven themselves incapable of comprehending a few monosyllabic and disyllabic words in three sentences. -The OP NEVER said she had sex on the first date. -The OP NEVER said how long she's been dating this guy. -Who the hell are you to say where they should be going on their first date? As long as it's not a bordello, I think anything goes. -The OP must have been snooping on his phone to know his ringtone? Are you braindead? How about if, say, someone had called him while she was around. Maybe? Craaaazy thought, I know. (By the way, even if she had been snooping, it would have been time well-spent, apparently.) I tried my best to break it down easily for you imbeciles in bullet form, but I'm aware that that the last bullet is a little longer than what you're capable of reading, so just try your best on the first three and we'll call it a compromise.

jet_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 23:35

I don't understand why you would call him then and not just wait, but, yeah, I feel for you. :(

I_am_stupid_also 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:01

Today, I was naked on the ground making love among some bushes in this wonderful place with my new boyfriend when his phone rings and then this crazy woman comes up yelling, "Hey, all those bushes are poison oak!" We ran down the mountain naked as she kept yelling at us.

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:03

lol, that's not good.

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:03

lol, that's not good.

blameyou 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:29

that sucks for you girl.. but finally a real FML

loyalwolf06 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:34

#33- I know my girlfriend's ringtone for me and I don't snoop through her phone. Wanna know how? She TELLS me cuz she's usually really excited when she gets new ones. Sometimes she even asks me to call her phone when we're together so it will play, lol. Since it's Bob Marley though and nothing special to one person I'm guessing it is his overall ringtone and, like other people said, if this is her boyfriend I'm SURE she's heard his phone go off before. I mean, seriously, is there anyone here who has been with their gf/bf for 2 months or more (not long distance/internet dating) who does NOT know their significant other's main ringtone? And no, she never says how long she has been dating this guy, but she calls him her "boyfriend" so that is what we have to go on. Girls don't tend to assume a dating relationship, they always want to define it and know for sure, so if she says it's her boyfriend he must know she considers him her boyfriend.

starvingxartist 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 0:44

Okay, #12 really isn't that stupid, because in some places "hooking up" does mean having sex. #33, how do you not know your boyfriend/girlfriend's ringtone? My boyfriend knows mine. Annnd I still call fake because whoever pointed out, why would you be on a secluded mountain (and have service there), makes a good point/points.