Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles... - FML

By footfood - 27/06/2011 14:56 - Slovenia

Spicy

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 358

You deserved it 7 725

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Same thing different taste

By caitplaysguitar - 09/02/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 238

You deserved it 6 531

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 463

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

We all do it. Don't we?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 061

You deserved it 13 759

Smells like victory

By Gagging - 15/06/2015 11:57 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 461

You deserved it 2 786

Etiquette

By FootFlakes - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 4 517

By ScottyB - 22/12/2014 08:05 - United States - Peabody

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 744

You deserved it 6 626

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 623

You deserved it 7 286

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 215

You deserved it 2 416

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

Next

Top comments

Badshah29 6

Monday 27 June 2011 19:03

canibalism

jutyjaty 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:03

dude. new girl

Comments

ispt3ch 2

Monday 27 June 2011 19:04

I just died a little bit inside...

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 27 June 2011 19:58

you will know be reborn as a beautiful sloth

bonnie_vb8 5

Tuesday 28 June 2011 9:22

haha i like you:)

jordynwebber 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:04

sounds fantastic :D

Sprinkle777 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:05

****'n eeeeew

CockieMonster 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:05

Well at least you know she's flexible...? YDI, sorry dude

J9DeeZy 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 12:59

nobody deserves to see that

enonymous 8

Monday 27 June 2011 19:05

All women eat souls...

nlr 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:10

no they don't.

Monikabug 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:14

GIRLS! The men are onto us! Okay now, everyone remain calm - there is no need to worry! As soon as the commercial break is over they will forget all about it again and we can go back to our devious/malicious/manipulative ways. :)

Auntie_Christ 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:55

they do. I have proof

Siji 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:17

I feel like there was some word play between soles vs. souls. I laughed if those were your intentions. :)

Siji 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:28

Woah,after rereading the FML I realized that the word play in question was extremely obvious. I apologize for my lapse in judgement, dear FML community.

alissa222 15

Monday 27 June 2011 19:05

don't you mean "ex" girlfriend? I mean, really, you're keeping her around?

dvdp112 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:06

I was going to say on the plus side she is flexible.

stuner56 22

Monday 27 June 2011 19:06

I wonder if shes done it before, and if you kissed her after

whiteboy7thst 2

Monday 27 June 2011 19:07

really? I kinda jizzed

manbearpig7173 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:07

Om nom nom

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Kids Parenting Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 379

The Top

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 779

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 844

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 273

You deserved it 4 041

Today, I was running late for school and accidentally ran a red light and got pulled over. I couldn't find the registration and was freaking out, when the cop told me that he wouldn't give me a ticket if he could give me some advice. His advice? Don't wear your shirt inside-out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 4 592

Today, when I arrived to a prospective customer's home to give her a shower replacement estimate, a sheriff pulled up behind me and arrested said customer. I drove a 3-hour round trip to this appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 85

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 191

You deserved it 2 085