Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood...

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 793

You deserved it 3 110

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 918

You deserved it 438

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 65

HOA blues

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 02:00

Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 186

By Why Me - 20/10/2014 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 048

You deserved it 2 794

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 1 956

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 816

You deserved it 445

Snitches get bitches

By d for vendetta - 21/04/2021 23:00

Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 255

By MasterWong - 20/06/2018 19:00

Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 337

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 3 459

pasiphae9 5

Wednesday 27 May 2009 23:07

Is your garbage can made of metal? If so, attach the live part of a cattle prod to it so when the homeless guy touches it he gets a shock. You can use gloves to pick up the lid, and detach the prod when the garbage men come round :) Nothing could go wrong, trust me.

jennam_fml 4

Wednesday 27 May 2009 23:12

I agree with number four. It's no different then diapers, and it's in a bag. I put my dogs poop bags in the trash and I've never recieved a letter of any kind about it. But..How did they know it was poop in the bags? Did they rip them open to see? Wtf.

Comments

snoopy24_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 16:42

haha 92...either you have way too much time or (like me) you get very bored with work / life in general. either way, that's a fantastic story =)

blooop_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 23:12

You should put locks on your trashcan so only you can open them, and then temporarily remove them on trash day.

darkelf06 0

Friday 29 May 2009 0:10

#95: lol i've never seen that or heard of that idea before but since you witnessed it you should have went up to the guy and said (really politely) "oh im sorry, but you can't place your feces in my garbage can."

shan789mudge 0

Friday 29 May 2009 1:21

haha that made me laugh!

Crystalyo 0

Friday 29 May 2009 2:55

That is seriously disgusting haha(:

dzidziaud 5

Friday 29 May 2009 3:38

Fake. People put bags of poop in trash cans all the time, it's called having a dog. The garbage collectors can't tell the difference between dog crap and human crap.

ymmot 0

Friday 29 May 2009 3:49

dude that stinks

graintrain 0

Friday 29 May 2009 5:04

actually if it was on top it wouldn't have been hard for them to identify it was the OP's trash. I've had the garbage company call me 5 minutes after my trash was picked up to tell me that my car lights were on before - the garbage men do have contact back with their "base." So all they'd have to do was radio/call in the address as soon as they saw it, and it would be documented.