Animals: Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching....

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 549

You deserved it 3 365

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Same thing different taste

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 1 785

Polly wanna latte

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 153

Late reaction

By "chris_lillo" - 31/01/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 758

You deserved it 7 000

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 257

You deserved it 6 137

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 222

You deserved it 1 156

Impressive

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 02:57 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 428

You deserved it 19 340

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 500

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 564

Sky the killer

By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 083

You deserved it 8 044

acerredrum 23

Thursday 27 March 2014 8:36

Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.

DrownedMyFish 18

Thursday 27 March 2014 8:42

Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.

Comments

ravens42 8

Thursday 27 March 2014 17:55

Wow you're crazy

Aleyarie 11

Thursday 27 March 2014 18:28

My roommate does this all the time (without asking me OR our landlady, then expecting me to pay for food/care and take care of it when she leaves for weeks at a time for 'family visits'). First, it was fish. We had THIRTY fish at one point. Of course, she then got bored. So, she gave away the fish. Second she wanted (two) rats and she managed to get those through "I need them for my science class", kept them for about 4 months before getting bored, and gave them away as feeder rats. Then there were three geckos, a puppy, a pigeon (I don't understand this one), another puppy, and now she is stuck on having a red tailed boa. I have no idea what to do with her.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 27 March 2014 18:45

Find another roommate!

sunshineb81 16

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:39

Get a new roommate or come to a pet agreement. It sounds like you went along with it if so YDI and need to just deal.

okami36 2

Thursday 27 March 2014 23:40

Kill your roommate.

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 28 March 2014 13:23

Moving out (or kicking her out) might not be a bad idea.

veritoswty6 14

Thursday 27 March 2014 18:53

I wouldn't pay a cent if I were to be in that situation. If he/she wants a pet well that's his/her problem and his/her responsibility and not mine!

Omniprism 14

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:00

Um no. What a jerk. I'm sorry that happened. Good luck with that.

Omniprism 14

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:01

Tell him also he has to cover the cage at night to signify to the bird it's time to sleep.

1947Chevy 17

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:02

Without consulting you she has no way of enforcing it

awanfitzsimmons 3

Thursday 27 March 2014 19:47

Stand yourself out and reject his wishes ! but if he keeps wanting you to pay half of it, say to him that you will agree with it unless he cleans up the bird mess, that would be appropriate i guess...

lifesentence 11

Thursday 27 March 2014 20:18

Tell your roommate you'll pay for half of what it costs to put the bird down

amisenho 11

Thursday 27 March 2014 21:32

I wonder how the parrot-child custody battles will play out once you or your roommate move.

Glitterjugz 1

Thursday 27 March 2014 21:34

If your roommate feels entitled to get the bird and not tell you and expect you to pay half than you are entitled to do whatever you want with half the bird. I heard grilled parrot wing is delish!