Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave...

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 4 111

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By heart of cold - 11/01/2016 09:12 - United States

Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 125

You deserved it 2 046

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 4 591

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 2 676

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 074

You deserved it 3 088

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 391

You deserved it 2 552

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 02:05 - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 932

You deserved it 3 248

By nicetomeetyou2 - 25/09/2013 16:35 - Canada - Nepean

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 716

You deserved it 3 514

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 182

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 2 July 2012 19:01

Hubby: Bless me wifey, for I have sinned... OP: You are forgiven, my hubby. Now go forth and sin no more... Hubby: What!? Hell no!!!! OP: Ok boys, hold him down and shave his head. If he doesn't repent, then continue with the pubes.

HelloGuys 4

Monday 2 July 2012 18:57

You have to give your husband a blessing to go out with his friends?

Comments

dead_insects 18

Friday 6 July 2012 2:54

Bald men are HOT!!! ^_~

MiSsNiKiTa 4

Sunday 8 July 2012 6:37

Sorry, but that's pretty funny. I actually laughed out loud.

mollymayan 3

Sunday 15 July 2012 15:16

Let them shave his head. I bet he'll be more careful about his next night out with the guys.

fantasyworld 37

Friday 26 December 2014 20:36

You gave him your blessing to go out? He's not 16, he can go out when he wants.

cdncw 20

Friday 15 May 2015 20:29

Honestly, who cares. He wanted to go out drinking with his buddies. It sounds like he made sure it was ok with you first. It sounds like his "going out drinking with his buddies" isn't a regular occurrance. He interrupted your sleep, that part does suck. BUT, he's safe, he's not out messing around, he's not driving drunk, they're even outside. Your turn will come, you'll be the one doing something to interrupt him. A relationship is give and take, sometimes the giving sucks, but it all balances out :)