By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 346
You deserved it 57 819
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Top comments

llaawwll 0

At least he didn't have a gun pointed at your face or something.

65 1
manoverboard 0

Oh, the joys of drinking.

42 1

Comments

speak_a_da_truth 0

YDI but look on the bright side now you have an excuse not to pull that exgirlfriend shit anymore. If she's your ex and you wanted it then this was perfect b/c you got that last drunk lay in there and reason for not going back again. Well played sir...Well played!

1 0
bco12 0

this isn't an fml because you got off lucky! if i were the dad, you'd be dead right now.

0 0
blahdsflksfd 0

Everyone who gets drunk is an idiot. I wish we could send them all into the sun, so that decent people could live on Earth. Drunk + sex = accident babies = bad. Ever see the movie Idiocracy? You people make me sick

2 3
speak_a_da_truth 0

HAHA Idiocracy is a great flick! You live in a bubble though, being drunk does not = idiot. It just means we enjoy escaping the reality that you so much bitch about for however brief it is. Also Drunk + Sex = accident babies = bad. My best friend was NOT Drunk + Sex + Birth Control = accident baby = Great Father to his son. Your logic is flawed. I think you were an ACCIDENT BABY now go cry in your bubble.

1 1
amy1504 0

To be honest, quite a lot of people drink, so stfu.

0 0
buckfasthero 0

Hey, are you best friends with Captain Sensible from #20? You two guys should do an after-school special.

0 0
jasey_rae 0

and it's people like you who are so closed minded and judgemental of others and think they're better than someone because they don't drink. get the **** over yourself.

0 0
tp1990 0

LOL that's ****** hilarios, I've done somethin similiar before.... Btw I moderated this 

0 0
sparda4355 0

that sucked for like 10 minutes (assuming you had to find your pants)... then you got ur ass outa there and laughed for a good 30 minutes, and now you have a legendary story to tell for years to come! AWESOME! :)

0 0
tradit03 0

kudos on the storytelling ")

0 0
realrealitysuccs 0

YDI for gettin that drunk...hahaha btw did she succ ur dicc to cus if so this is soooo not a FML

0 0
plexico 3

"in so many words" means that is exactly what is said. You didn't have an exact quote there, so your story is poorly written. It would be a better FML if he said something like, "Get the **** out of here or I'll smash your balls with golf club! I made be an 8-handicap, but your handicap is that your balls have been knocked between your shoulderblades!" That would have been funny. Was she you ex-girlfriend before the pants came off, or did the relationship end when her dad found you? You should have less sex and alcohol, and learn to write coherently.

0 0
irononreverse 0

There's nothing wrong with the way this FML is written. In fact, its subtlety is a lot better than your "improvement" As you pointed out, "in so many words" means exactly what was said. Which was nothing. Everything is inferred from the nudge on the shoulder. If you or I were ever in that situation, and had the nudge, we'd both know it would be time to leave.

0 0