Love: Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing....

By FunGhoost - 20/02/2015 13:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 5 264

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 1 657

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 122

Asshat

By check your husband! - 04/01/2023 09:00

Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 478

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 2 340

Weird dude

By Anonymous - 09/04/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 243

By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 3 264

By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 794

You deserved it 8 511

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 17 366

bethanyhopkins 49

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

Get out while you can

LizetteBerenice 22

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

You are.

Comments

drunkenskip 3

Friday 20 February 2015 19:51

run me run. I had the same problem but I got her pregnant so I have to deal with her for pretty much forever. don't make mt mistake.

ToxicTyrael 26

Friday 20 February 2015 19:57

FYL!!!!

parnellski7 3

Friday 20 February 2015 20:01

That's messed up!

ooooohboy 15

Friday 20 February 2015 20:20

Run!

TheFuckGiver1230 22

Friday 20 February 2015 20:22

No, it's just your average everyday obsessive controlling christian grey psycho, nothing to worry about, carry on.

ToxicTyrael 26

Saturday 21 February 2015 0:15

why christian grey? this has got nothing to do with this book/film

TheFuckGiver1230 22

Saturday 21 February 2015 0:41

Colonel_Whiskers

Azpy 26

Friday 20 February 2015 20:24

Run.

asadskill 5

Friday 20 February 2015 20:27

text them to give you their numbers back!

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 20 February 2015 21:26

Um, go think about what you just said some more...

hailzz_96 18

Friday 20 February 2015 20:28

Why doesn't your phone have a pass lock

jenny_sykes 14

Friday 20 February 2015 20:33

Run..

MD9 19

Friday 20 February 2015 20:42

you are

Matheo_fml 21

Friday 20 February 2015 20:43

I wouldn't dare to fall asleep besides her the next time!! Who knows what you would be missing in the morning?!

ToxicTyrael 26

Saturday 21 February 2015 0:16

A testical... or two

Matheo_fml 21

Saturday 21 February 2015 22:35

Or a kidney, some hair, all of your toenails...

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 149

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 80

Today, it's Saturday and a planned date night for my partner and me. He's not showered since Tuesday and was surprised that I requested that he to do so ahead of getting intimate. And he wonders why our sex life isn't better… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 201

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 2 432

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 206

You deserved it 7 776

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 892

You deserved it 419

Same thing different taste

Freakout

Asshat

Overbearing girlfriend

Weird dude

Top comments

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