Love: Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing.... - FML

By FunGhoost - 20/02/2015 13:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 5 264

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 1 657

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 121

Asshat

By check your husband! - 04/01/2023 09:00

Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 478

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 2 340

Weird dude

By Anonymous - 09/04/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 243

By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 3 264

By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 793

You deserved it 8 509

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 17 363

Next

Top comments

bethanyhopkins 49

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

Get out while you can

LizetteBerenice 22

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

You are.

Comments

ihartmytdi 23

Friday 20 February 2015 16:56

Damn, I knew Siri was controlling, but that's too far.

sunnyskys 25

Friday 20 February 2015 17:19

damn, you always have something good to say nice work! that is you in pic right?

ProfessorMctitie 20

Friday 20 February 2015 20:01

why do you wanna know if thats him in the picture?

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Friday 20 February 2015 23:24

maybe 27 thinks 14 is attractive. .. but personally thats what private messaging is for.

Steph_mmarie 14

Friday 20 February 2015 16:56

Run.... run far far away.

sunnyskys 25

Friday 20 February 2015 17:21

goodbye donkey. ((Donkey Cry's)) "SHREK!!!"

bl865ood 17

Friday 20 February 2015 17:00

well, psycho ex or psycho girlfriend...

devildog562 33

Friday 20 February 2015 17:01

You got 100 problems son. You really need to address this issue, or dump gasoline all over the room while she is asleep, drive a steak in her hear, shoot with silver bullets ,light the room on fire, and head to a tropical island .

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 20 February 2015 18:18

But that's a waste of a freshly cooked steak. Also. Haven't the Winchesters taught you anything with their decade of documentaries? Salt and burn the bones. Every time.

devildog562 33

Friday 20 February 2015 22:31

I'm getting to fat. This is like the third fml that made me hungry.

JKPwnage 27

Saturday 21 February 2015 14:55

#106, too*

KhaleesiDannie 26

Friday 20 February 2015 17:01

Run far run fast maybe move and change your name cause that bitch is crazy

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Friday 20 February 2015 17:02

She has trust issues up the butt damn

siggy_mcsigx 22

Friday 20 February 2015 17:02

yep, run, this situation is not going to get any better, and don't waste your breath trying to reassure her of your monogamy.

elusiveshame 22

Friday 20 February 2015 17:07

My ex deleted my grandmother and mother from my phone because they were female, and also called everyone in my phone to make sure I wasn't hiding a female in there under a guys name. Get out now, while it's still easy. Things will only get worse the longer you tolerate this behavior.

dark_angel4121 12

Friday 27 February 2015 22:36

I completely agree!

vikky538 28

Friday 20 February 2015 17:08

its time to do the same...just delete her from your life and run...

Cass_x 22

Friday 20 February 2015 17:21

Pffft, nooo! MOST of your female contacts were missing, not all of them! So obviously she isn't a psycho!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 265

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 1 041

The Top

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 2 827

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 434

Today, my ex-best friend reached out just to be a dick. We all had tickets to a concert and she decided that she didn't want to go. She said that I could find someone to sell her ticket to, and I did, but then she sold it to someone that I'm not friends with anymore, and told me that she "can do whatever she wants :)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 128

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 173

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 3 023

Today, I learnt that the girl with whom I've being going out for 6 months has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 554

You deserved it 3 792