Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a...

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 151

You deserved it 5 320

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 413

You deserved it 3 901

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 977

You deserved it 2 185

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 369

You deserved it 5 212

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 539

You deserved it 1 600

By raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 274

You deserved it 2 374

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 475

You deserved it 1 574

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 732

You deserved it 17 294

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 195

You deserved it 7 389

It's funny because it's true

By screwed - 22/05/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 779

You deserved it 12 679

vikky538 28

Wednesday 15 October 2014 15:39

time to change the roommate... or lock your room always

saucyrossi 18

Wednesday 15 October 2014 15:40

You should taco bout it with him

Comments

dark_angel4121 12

Saturday 18 October 2014 5:01

KICK HIS ASS OUT!!! That's sexual harassment!

sharedcat 6

Sunday 19 October 2014 3:56

AHAHA

Knarf_fml 10

Sunday 19 October 2014 13:18

You may want to set up a hidden video camera so you can see what's going on when you're not home! I truly hope he's not using your undergarments? #crossdresser Not that there's anything wrong with that!!