Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a...

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 318

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Same thing different taste

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 408

You deserved it 3 899

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 975

You deserved it 2 183

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 534

You deserved it 1 599

By raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 272

You deserved it 2 373

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 468

You deserved it 1 572

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 721

You deserved it 17 288

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 7 388

It's funny because it's true

By screwed - 22/05/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 778

You deserved it 12 678

vikky538 28

Wednesday 15 October 2014 15:39

time to change the roommate... or lock your room always

saucyrossi 18

Wednesday 15 October 2014 15:40

You should taco bout it with him

Comments

oJoy 11

Wednesday 15 October 2014 21:41

I'd get a new roomie!

reeper147 14

Wednesday 15 October 2014 21:44

Well I feel there isn't quite enough info OP. Was this a prank he was pulling, or was this a perverted act to please himself? And if it is a prank, I'd respond by seran-wrapping him to his bed.

Mylife_hell 12

Wednesday 15 October 2014 22:01

Um change roommates for one and sign him up for special help ?

Thatguy334 7

Wednesday 15 October 2014 22:13

Though that's kinda creepy, ydi for still living with this douche

DogeMan 14

Wednesday 15 October 2014 22:18

I think u might want to find a new roomate

yerrkiddingme 2

Wednesday 15 October 2014 22:19

Umm get out of there!

sayyestothedress 24

Wednesday 15 October 2014 22:31

#2 more like horny or weird

Axel5238 29

Wednesday 15 October 2014 23:08

The OP mentions he's only been there for 2 weeks. Whether prank war or not. Clearly the OP is uncomfortable with him coming into her room while sleeping friends or not. Though, nothing OP said sounds like she knew him all that well.

SandpitNinja 10

Wednesday 15 October 2014 23:51

He could atleast offer you half of said burrito.

EvilLittleMan 23

Thursday 16 October 2014 0:04

Wake his ass up while you're in a smoking pair of matching lace panties and bra while holding a freshly sharpened pair of garden shears and say in a sultry voice, "Next time, I'll cut it off."