Intimacy: Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon!...

By BW - 07/06/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 772

You deserved it 6 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 3 435

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 090

You deserved it 7 591

By girlgirlinsanity - 25/07/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 5 779

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 733

You deserved it 393

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Nervous nelly

By Anonymous - 15/04/2020 05:00

Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 373

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 4 495

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 259

You deserved it 25 002

Dreams never end

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 08:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife had a dream in which I died while she was pregnant. This is troubling, especially since I had the exact same dream the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 87

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

ForestFire0 1

Monday 8 June 2009 1:38

I just moderated this one an hour ago! This is very exciting for me. I've never had that happen before. The power is intoxicating! I think I'll fire someone tomorrow! This feeling's great!

MissCherrywhipx 0

Monday 8 June 2009 1:33

Unlucky!

Comments

great_lawl 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:28

Are you SURE she was sleep talking?

flipnfun9 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:29

at least she was still dreaming about you :D

Kittycate6606 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:33

LOL My boyfriend and i have had sex 4 times this week already and im only 13 hahah really theres something wrong with you hahah

Secret_Fire_King 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 5:24

That is something for your boyfriend to brag about.. He's gunna be a legend.. But, for some reason, you are not.. There is a name for girls like you.. I'm sure you've heard it..

almariee 2

Tuesday 21 December 2010 21:20

there's something wrong with this guy? seems like there's something wrong with you, have respect for yourself jeeeze. disgusting

nesscafe_fml 17

Sunday 7 August 2011 16:05

No one cares about ur immature slutty ways. Keep it to yourself, no one is impressed. Only disgusted, if anything.

sarah2144 14

Sunday 1 January 2012 22:03

Nobody cares how many times you've had sex with your boyfriend. Furthermore, you're only 13. Having sex at 13 is nothing to brag about. It just means you're a stupid *****.

MsMegaroo 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:35

#35...you are a ******* creep

NCGurl 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:36

#43 I think there is something wrong with you... Or your parents maybe?...

anonymous0927 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:39

dude....you might have dream raped your wife. fyl!

monicamischief 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:40

@44 how the hell am i a creep? there's nothing creepy about sex. @ 39 of course sex isn't the only thing important to a relationship. i never said that. but it IS very important. you cannot have an adult relationship without physical affection. :/

funsize003 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:42

dudeeee hhaha get some new moves. or positions. or lube. or SOMETHING. that is not alright, banging should be funnn!

NoMercy_fml 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:44

Rape her and say it was a dream.

uneekfreak16 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:47

You guys should go to a sex therapist... maybe you can find out why she doesn't want to have sex, whether you're not doing something right or if she had been abused in childhood or if she's just not attracted to you anymore (an even worse issue), you might be able to work something out with a solution that would make you both happy, not just forcing her to have sex with you as some have suggested.