Kids: Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young... - FML

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 2 936

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 098

You deserved it 5 941

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 896

You deserved it 54 455

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 3 876

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 819

You deserved it 6 292

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 997

By MrsRODixon - 05/03/2015 12:38 - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 2 838

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 6 961

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 2 858

Lost the fight

By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 14:43 - United States - Herndon

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 180

You deserved it 3 981

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 505

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:17

What a prick!

futtbuck101 1

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:14

F your sons life.

Comments

syfool 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:03

I guess doctors are not the only thing he'll be running away from.

oakeidoakei 9

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:06

That sucks.

krysxkatastrophe 14

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:07

He didn't think that through very well.

xXSillyLoveXx 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:17

What a little prick!

12vballchick12 5

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:33

I think perdix beat you to it... nice try

xXSillyLoveXx 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:15

My apologies Perdix, never saw

leadman1989 15

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:26

You souls gave filmed it and put it on YouTube he would have be all the rage!

ICaughtFire 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:00

Proofreading is your friend...

leadman1989 15

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:58

Lol, I normally do what a wonderfully delightful fail. What I was trying to say, is that they should have filmed it and put it on YouTube. I think it would have been pretty entertaining.

Broc831 6

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:29

ouch! he does realize that he's gonna end up in the doctor's office anyway right?

zomnie 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:00

Poor dood.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:18

Your kid is a dumbass

CoughDrops 5

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:49

"Now, son, don't touch that cactus!"

instnt1nfction 17

Saturday 17 September 2011 5:05

*le touch cactus* "Your dead to me"

zomnie 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 5:15

You're dead to me >:(

ninja_ness 3

Saturday 17 September 2011 4:18

I mean can you blame him?? I hate going to the doctor, all they want to do is molest you ><

indielove 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 14:00

What the hell kind of doctor have you been going to?

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Keywords

Awkward Neighbours Miscellaneous Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Party Love Fight Argument Family Cats Animals Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs Work AITA

The Top

Today, I went to a job interview super early and giddy with enthusiasm. While waiting in the lobby, I struck up a friendly conversation with a bloke who was also waiting around in a suit. I jokingly told him, “Good luck mate, but I’m getting this job.” Turns out he was the hiring manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 501

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 2 598

The Top

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 975

You deserved it 6 400

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 34 061

Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 1 446

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 3 602

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 3 323

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 140

You deserved it 4 446