Kids: Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young... - FML

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 2 938

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Same thing different taste

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 099

You deserved it 5 941

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 54 455

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 293

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 999

By MrsRODixon - 05/03/2015 12:38 - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 2 838

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 962

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 2 859

Lost the fight

By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 14:43 - United States - Herndon

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 182

You deserved it 3 982

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 505

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:17

What a prick!

futtbuck101 1

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:14

F your sons life.

Comments

syfool 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:03

I guess doctors are not the only thing he'll be running away from.

oakeidoakei 9

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:06

That sucks.

krysxkatastrophe 14

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:07

He didn't think that through very well.

xXSillyLoveXx 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:17

What a little prick!

12vballchick12 5

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:33

I think perdix beat you to it... nice try

xXSillyLoveXx 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:15

My apologies Perdix, never saw

leadman1989 15

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:26

You souls gave filmed it and put it on YouTube he would have be all the rage!

ICaughtFire 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:00

Proofreading is your friend...

leadman1989 15

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:58

Lol, I normally do what a wonderfully delightful fail. What I was trying to say, is that they should have filmed it and put it on YouTube. I think it would have been pretty entertaining.

Broc831 6

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:29

ouch! he does realize that he's gonna end up in the doctor's office anyway right?

zomnie 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:00

Poor dood.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:18

Your kid is a dumbass

CoughDrops 5

Saturday 17 September 2011 3:49

"Now, son, don't touch that cactus!"

instnt1nfction 17

Saturday 17 September 2011 5:05

*le touch cactus* "Your dead to me"

zomnie 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 5:15

You're dead to me >:(

ninja_ness 3

Saturday 17 September 2011 4:18

I mean can you blame him?? I hate going to the doctor, all they want to do is molest you ><

indielove 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 14:00

What the hell kind of doctor have you been going to?

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Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 42 709

The Top

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 4 763

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 821

You deserved it 7 056

Today, my dad lectured me because my mom cried herself to sleep last night. Why? Because I didn't want to watch a movie with her. I had to go to sleep to be up for work at 6 a.m., and was too tired to watch a movie in the first place. I live with drama queens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 107

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 801

You deserved it 7 852

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 826

You deserved it 25 016

Today, while playing golf, someone broke my nose. The clubhouse calls an ambulance, and I go to hospital. I call my girlfriend to come and pick me up downstairs; she runs over my foot with her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 52