Animals: Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to...

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By Kitten_Love - 28/01/2013 19:52 - France - Paris

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 121

You deserved it 6 632

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Same thing different taste

Time doesn't always heal

By Anonymous - 03/10/2022 09:30 - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 210

Like that scene in Alien!

By Orange cat behavior - 13/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 173

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 118

Boo!

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 751

You deserved it 3 582

Wake up, human!

By inveralaska - 16/06/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 051

You deserved it 2 360

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 364

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 690

You deserved it 3 456

Chilled

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 328

Classic kitten move

By Filly - 18/03/2025 13:00 - Romania

Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 190

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 168

You deserved it 29 144

ollie179 21

Monday 28 January 2013 23:03

Everyone must of thought you were cool. Carrying pussy in your bag...

Pleonasm 35

Monday 28 January 2013 23:04

Well the cat's out of the bag now.

Comments

katties 27

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:06

That is so frikkin' cute!!!

97buble 1

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:17

Thats soo cuuute!

Elmoo_fml 16

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:31

I agree with most people - that is so cute! The first thing I said when I read this was aaaaw!

Neongreenme 8

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:37

I am not a cat person but this sounds freaking adorable. it may score you points in the female department.

queeennnale 18

Tuesday 29 January 2013 17:35

THAT'S SO CUTE

igottafeelingxo 9

Tuesday 29 January 2013 18:32

Eeeeee!!! Ninja kitteh!!! (^.^)/

enzo875 4

Tuesday 29 January 2013 19:02

Thats awesome why fml that would be the best day of class ever im in class right now lol...

snapdragon1100 7

Tuesday 29 January 2013 19:52

That's actually kinda cute!! (:

kaoszombie 6

Tuesday 29 January 2013 20:02

You need pussy control.

beretcarmichael 3

Tuesday 29 January 2013 21:21

This is possibly on the of funniest things to visualize. I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard.

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Miscellaneous Gross Weird Food Shopping Clothes Technology Games Annoying Disney Kids Cute Empathy Family Bullying Ironic Embarrassing Parents Awkward Surprise Party Friends Relatable LGBTQIA+ Love Health Diets Bodyshaming Mental health AITA

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 397

You deserved it 6 465

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 283

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 311

You deserved it 944

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I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 157

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I agree, your life sucks 48 229

You deserved it 13 288

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I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 148

Today, my boyfriend met my brother. They're both over 6 foot, and big. They glared at each other like they were about to start a fight, then out of nowhere shook hands, hugged while laughing like lunatics, and have been besties all afternoon. Why are gym bros such weird idiots? FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 427

Today, and every day for the past 3 years, my daughter has consistently woken me up throughout the night to nurse. Bonus? She’s up by 7:00am in the morning and falls asleep around 10pm and it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. I’m mentally and physically drained, and exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 800

Same thing different taste

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