Animals: Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to...

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By Kitten_Love - 28/01/2013 19:52 - France - Paris

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 121

You deserved it 6 632

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Same thing different taste

Time doesn't always heal

By Anonymous - 03/10/2022 09:30 - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 210

Like that scene in Alien!

By Orange cat behavior - 13/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 173

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 118

Boo!

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 751

You deserved it 3 582

Wake up, human!

By inveralaska - 16/06/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 051

You deserved it 2 360

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 364

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 689

You deserved it 3 456

Chilled

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 323

Classic kitten move

By Filly - 18/03/2025 13:00 - Romania

Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 185

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 167

You deserved it 29 144

ollie179 21

Monday 28 January 2013 23:03

Everyone must of thought you were cool. Carrying pussy in your bag...

Pleonasm 35

Monday 28 January 2013 23:04

Well the cat's out of the bag now.

Comments

ThisIsHard 5

Monday 28 January 2013 23:06

I get how you're feline, OP. That must have been catastrophic.

Angio113 10

Tuesday 29 January 2013 15:43

Really? A surprise visit from your kitty seems like a purrfect way to start your day to me!

TheBadAndGnarly 19

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

My kittens are like that and I just find it so darn cute. Except when they jump out with claws waving in your face, then they become pure evil.

DaggersEdge 6

Tuesday 29 January 2013 1:31

the scratches on my arms and face tell me to agree with you

oj101 33

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

Aww. That's actually beyond adorable. I bet you're going to get a lot more pussy than just yours. Girls dig dat kinda shit.

kamikrazy 6

Tuesday 29 January 2013 7:28

I disagree. I'm still a virgin.

Nekogami 14

Tuesday 29 January 2013 13:56

I'm not. ;)

Hamz1989 13

Monday 28 January 2013 23:07

Pussy wanted to get an education so it snuck into your bag while you were heading to school.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 29 January 2013 8:34

One damn clever little pussy!

spikekutter 9

Monday 28 January 2013 23:09

ask someone if they want to pet your pussy..

Kallian_fml 21

Monday 28 January 2013 23:09

At least it wasn't your pet squirrel that jumped out of the bag. My poor teacher screamed "Rabies!" and bolted from the room.

Andr913 13

Monday 28 January 2013 23:20

Yeah, I don't blame your teacher since she didn't know it was a pet. That'd freak me out too...or should I say drive me nutty? Also, OP: I hope the poor cat wasn't hurt by any of your books.