Miscellaneous: Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me...

By pissed out pants - 18/01/2015 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 3 953

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 681

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 18:55 - Europe

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 1 738

By sonofaneuroticwench - 20/08/2014 20:08 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 669

You deserved it 3 392

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 4 823

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 5 699

Drama!

By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 808

You deserved it 3 666

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 41 596

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 916

You deserved it 6 020

skyeyez9 24

Monday 19 January 2015 5:29

Wth is wrong with your dad?! That is a cruel thing to do

FrozenMusic 26

Monday 19 January 2015 5:30

Suicide isn't something to joke about

Comments

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 19 January 2015 5:33

your dad is a moron.

hazukilockheart 13

Monday 19 January 2015 5:33

dad jokes have gone to a whole new level of bad

OhWhoCares 42

Monday 19 January 2015 5:35

Wow, 465 FYL votes and 0 YDI votes. This has got to be a record. Anyway, OP that must've been really traumatizing and your dad sounds like an extremely toxic person.

kirbs19 37

Monday 19 January 2015 5:38

Well it was nice while it lasted

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 19 January 2015 5:39

you spoke too soon

thespiantess 18

Tuesday 20 January 2015 2:14

I feel so bad that I accidentally clicked YDI, I hope most of the rest are accidental as well, I don't see how OP could deserve this at all. That prank was just cruel and very, very wrong.

addisonrose12 16

Monday 19 January 2015 5:35

I am so sorry but I accidentally hit YDI! D: The buttons are too close together! I definitely think FYL!! On a side note, you're dad is WAY too competitive... :/

kittyfrozen 19

Monday 19 January 2015 5:56

they should really make it so that we can revert our FYLs and YDIs!

netflixislove 32

Monday 19 January 2015 6:00

I know I'm always clicking the wrong button on accident!

Mossygirl357 12

Monday 19 January 2015 5:36

that's wrong and cruel of him to joke like that.

RobinGoodfellow 47

Monday 19 January 2015 5:36

That's not remotely okay. As someone who has lost friends to suicide and contemplated it myself, many times, for years, I have to tell you that your dad is an asshole.

Wolfparable 22

Monday 19 January 2015 6:17

Indeed that's not something you joke about it's very inconsiderate and cruel to take what is often a result of extreme depression and make mockery of it. It's a straight insult to anyone who has lost people to that or considered it themselves.