Miscellaneous: Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird... - FML

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 449

You deserved it 943

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Same thing different taste

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 197

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 988

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 473

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 132

Classic combo

By Bad day - 25/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I had quite the long and busy day at work. Also today, the AC in my workplace decided to go on vacation. I was sweating and about to pass out by the end of it. Then, as I was walking home, I got pooped on by a bird. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 75

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 3 639

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 183

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 834

Next

Top comments

WCARlover 34

Sunday 19 June 2016 0:22

Birds are a-holes

Sora_McKain 36

Sunday 19 June 2016 0:24

Damn those birds anyway. If only they weren't so damn cute then maybe I could actually hate them.

Comments

kiki1705 20

Sunday 19 June 2016 1:18

Well at least it didn't rain...

PurpleMyth 28

Sunday 19 June 2016 1:53

It did over here.

Patriots21 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 2:01

That's a matter of perspective.... the bird made it rain.

notjordansime 12

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:16

But did you eat it?

Brandon1000 10

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:21

Hopefully you were having soup, in that case it wouldn't make much of a difference.

IssacB 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:49

I laughed more at your username in combination with the FML. Really seems like a crappy day. Sorry OP, hopefully it gets better.

TisButAScratch 10

Sunday 19 June 2016 5:03

At least it didn't crap on your head

epicgamer 18

Sunday 19 June 2016 6:30

I feel ya, in all my years in elementary (which goes up to 6th grade where I'm from) i got shit on 16 times by ******* seagulls. I hate their very existence to this very day.

denna44 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 9:15

Good luck coming your way

HylianBadger 21

Sunday 19 June 2016 9:45

Hey, free mayonnaise.

SleepyPharma 21

Sunday 19 June 2016 10:51

Personally haven't heard of that before...

RedCronos 17

Sunday 19 June 2016 11:36

It's irritating enough when they crap on my car after washing it......

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I had a big exam. Twenty minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled, "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 028

You deserved it 51 591

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 529

You deserved it 3 937

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 4 032

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 095

You deserved it 4 052

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 872

You deserved it 4 512

Today, my 3-year-old daughter has been crying non-stop for an hour because she wants to take off her black shoes. She's not wearing any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 800

You deserved it 236