Miscellaneous: Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird... - FML

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 444

You deserved it 942

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Same thing different taste

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 197

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 987

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 935

You deserved it 473

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 100

Classic combo

By Bad day - 25/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I had quite the long and busy day at work. Also today, the AC in my workplace decided to go on vacation. I was sweating and about to pass out by the end of it. Then, as I was walking home, I got pooped on by a bird. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 72

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 843

You deserved it 9 501

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 891

You deserved it 3 639

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 183

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 848

You deserved it 3 603

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 948

You deserved it 4 832

Next

Top comments

WCARlover 34

Sunday 19 June 2016 0:22

Birds are a-holes

Sora_McKain 36

Sunday 19 June 2016 0:24

Damn those birds anyway. If only they weren't so damn cute then maybe I could actually hate them.

Comments

kiki1705 20

Sunday 19 June 2016 1:18

Well at least it didn't rain...

PurpleMyth 28

Sunday 19 June 2016 1:53

It did over here.

Patriots21 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 2:01

That's a matter of perspective.... the bird made it rain.

notjordansime 12

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:16

But did you eat it?

Brandon1000 10

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:21

Hopefully you were having soup, in that case it wouldn't make much of a difference.

IssacB 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 4:49

I laughed more at your username in combination with the FML. Really seems like a crappy day. Sorry OP, hopefully it gets better.

TisButAScratch 10

Sunday 19 June 2016 5:03

At least it didn't crap on your head

epicgamer 18

Sunday 19 June 2016 6:30

I feel ya, in all my years in elementary (which goes up to 6th grade where I'm from) i got shit on 16 times by ******* seagulls. I hate their very existence to this very day.

denna44 14

Sunday 19 June 2016 9:15

Good luck coming your way

HylianBadger 21

Sunday 19 June 2016 9:45

Hey, free mayonnaise.

SleepyPharma 21

Sunday 19 June 2016 10:51

Personally haven't heard of that before...

RedCronos 17

Sunday 19 June 2016 11:36

It's irritating enough when they crap on my car after washing it......

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The Top

Today, I failed a final presentation. My partner, who did none of the research, presented the entire project, talking over me and glaring when I spoke up. He denied everything and the professor didn't believe me. Now I have to retake this class with the same professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 605

You deserved it 287

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 162

The Top

Today, even though I’m not allowed to be on my phone while on the line at work, I texted an unknown number. My manager looked at her Apple Watch. I'd texted my manager while on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 306

Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 329

Today, after seven months of job-searching, I got another rejection. This is after a breakup, a job loss, the deaths of my grandfather and best friend, tax issues, 3 years of dealing with a severe phobia, family issues, and a pandemic. Plus, now I can't buy the flat I fell in love with. Someone up there hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 164

Today, I finally decided to try to get a date with the girl I like at work. While I was looking for her around the office, her supervisor approached me. She's in the hospital due to Covid-19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 132

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity, I sent him a song I'd written for him, about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him, claiming he had written it. They're now back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 284

You deserved it 22 811

Today, my Tinder date arranged an Uber to pick her up before we had even finished our appetizers. She was so bored she couldn't be bothered to stay for the whole meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 850

You deserved it 848