Work: Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security...

By MAC - 13/01/2009 09:47 - France

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 399

You deserved it 3 168

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Same thing different taste

Too late

By Boyufd - 15/10/2019 02:00

Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 207

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 426

You deserved it 6 110

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 14:58 - United States - Springfield

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 381

You deserved it 72 324

By THATguy - 21/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 2 300

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 4 965

A shooting waiting to happen

By Never Been Arrested - 01/03/2016 21:44 - United States - State College

Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 356

You deserved it 1 288

LET ME IN

By Zxry123 - 31/12/2022 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 275

You're nicked!

By Jong - 10/03/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I arrived at work, only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. Five hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 331

You deserved it 2 768

By Jims - 29/04/2011 14:00 - Singapore

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 463

You deserved it 5 765

By Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt - 21/03/2014 20:46 - United States - Denver

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 819

You deserved it 4 579

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 12:32

I agree with all here. Mulder is an awesome nickname.

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 3:10

thats just cooool!!!

Comments

live_2_eat 5

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:45

OMG that's hillarious and awesome! I'd love a cool nickname like that, hahaha.

Dopamine_fml 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 2:28

Sorry man but that's pretty funny

Whatsername86 0

Friday 18 December 2009 22:24

haha I love X Files... wish it was still on.

Kirk_Spock 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 4:32

That is so COOL! Mulder was the first internet sex symbol. You should be proud.

RaniixO 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:39

Its Reid, and he's not that ugly, hes cute, in a weird way.

Deverz 10

Wednesday 20 October 2010 18:00

ydi for being humourless

iSolDyourSouL 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 0:46

LOL. FYL. XD (XFiles is awesome, btw)

Tychonic 0

Friday 17 December 2010 13:28

Where is the 'how is this an FML?' button?

mumias05 3

Monday 23 May 2011 6:31

thats just awesome not a FML at all

DeadlikeaPixel 5

Monday 25 July 2011 19:23

X-files FTW! I wish that show was still on! Mulder was soooo hawt XD But YDI for not have a sense of humour.

Keywords

Party Lonely Love Awkward ADHD Cars Transportation Ironic Work Mental health Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Annoying Health Covid Kids Cute Shopping Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Intimacy Exhausted Sex Scams

The Top

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 227

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 576

The Top

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 622

You deserved it 4 553

Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 372

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 885

You deserved it 9 651

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 13 892

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 7 730

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 349

You deserved it 33 376