Miscellaneous: Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we...

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 446

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 835

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 660

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 887

You deserved it 3 555

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 10 775

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 6 679

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

stunty_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:02

Friendly fire? Isn't.

emer_helena 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:34

I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident

Comments

bappoipp 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:18

manly fail

I_ate_pikachu 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:30

LMAO "...so I could protect her and be manly..."

delude 26

Sunday 22 February 2015 2:58

Girls kinda hate it when guys assume they need protecting. Or at least, I do

KickMeInTheNadz 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:22

There won't be a second date for you, im sure.

happygoluckyhh 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:25

SO YOU CAN PROTECT HER? YDI!! Women are much stronger and more independent than men for your information. And another thing, women like guys who DON'T want to be the big, macho, manly guy.

fionamiller93 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:11

tbh i love it when my bf tries to be macho. he fails miserably most of the tine but hey. at least he tries. xx

ryguy997 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 6:47

13, not always. some men are stronger and more independent, some women are. but on average, men are stronger and more independent.

Justin23L 2

Wednesday 11 January 2012 3:32

No. There's no difference. Men can be weaker than women and women can be stronger than men.

DingoCJ 15

Friday 6 July 2012 8:12

Let me guess who wears the pants in these relationships

sweethang26 7

Wednesday 24 October 2012 5:11

13- I agree too. I don't want to be protected. I am fully capable of protecting myself.

thumb_biter 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:27

#13: agreed. way to be sexist.

jSOPURE 3

Monday 25 May 2009 20:32

Chivalry FTL. :(

emer_helena 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:34

I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident

tb01 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:39

I'm calling BS here. I've played paintball for well over 10 years and have been shot in the hand from VERY close range on several occasions (including a few shots where my hand was actually touching the end of the barrel on a bunker move in a tournament) . Unless she has very brittle bones this isn't going to happen. The balls are designed to break on impact and the velocity is low enough that this is not at all likely. If you want to play, play. It isn't as rough or painful as people make it out to be.

Kamazar 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:39

How the hell do you break a finger with the paintball? Maybe she was trying some weird matrix move that didn't quite work out?

mxv13 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:41

#8, you obviously haven't ever played paintball, I've played for years just like #9 and #16. You would have to have the barrel literally on her finger with the velocity extremely high, and even then its exceptionally unlikely to break something.

LuckyCharms_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:43

#13 thats completely untrue. As much as feminists preach they don't need men, MOST women are still drawn to the macho protective type. It's a natural biological instinct based on the fact that we are not meant to be the physically stronger of the species and the natural order is for the man to protect his family - i.e. his wife and children. @OP that really sucks, funny story for the future maybe?