Kids: Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes....

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 386

You deserved it 18 662

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 799

You deserved it 5 336

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 765

Start 'em young

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 555

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 2 155

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 355

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

Best teeth in the game

By jj. - 08/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 67

Hangry

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 06:01

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 253

hannahtaskey 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

Kids learn from their parents you know...

pwincessa23 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"

Comments

chicklets97 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:30

ilikegrapes

hwp123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:31

Tell him to swallow lol then he will look like a grape

Aliyette 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:33

well which one did they end up doing???

pimpinallday 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:36

how the fuckk do u message people???

HeartAndSoul2011 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:37

uhm both?? but chew first lol ;)

randommusicgirl 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:41

dumbass.... Are you Red Forman from that 70's show?

xlorawrz 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:00

Be a little less harsh OP, the dumbass IS your son.

xlorawrz 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:26

glitchedgamer 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:01

Can we think of anything new to say other than "I raised this (insult here)?"

glitchedgamer 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:01

Can we think of anything new to say other than "I raised this (insult here)?"

maz255 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:05

*you're*....umm but yeah..still gonna do it

Keywords

DIY Cats Family Miscellaneous Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Anxiety Technology Mental health Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

The Top

Today, my soon-to-be-ex wife aborted our baby out of sheer spite after I caught her cheating with a man. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom, but I'm infertile. Also, I’m writing this from work because my boss wouldn’t let me have even one day to grieve, because I wasn’t the one who was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 432

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 180

You deserved it 697

Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 370

Today, at work, a guy tried to buy me for a dollar. I've only been there a week and it's the third time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 355

You deserved it 740

Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 161

You deserved it 874

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 445

You deserved it 5 108