Kids: Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes.... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 386

You deserved it 18 662

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Same thing different taste

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 799

You deserved it 5 336

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 765

Start 'em young

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 555

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 2 155

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 355

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

Best teeth in the game

By jj. - 08/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 67

Hangry

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 06:01

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 253

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

Kids learn from their parents you know...

pwincessa23 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"

Comments

SteveOsWifey 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:06

wow some mom you are! calling your son/daughter a dumbass and your basically called yourself a dumbass since you rasied him/her to BE a dumbass!

lifesuckbro_fml 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:07

oh man thats funny

speshlk37 13

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:10

don't get concerned until he asks whether he should spit or swallow

comicalsteak 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:15

You're the dumbass for not properly raising your child

xbella 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:16

well, chew or swallow?

yomommma 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:22

She likes to swallow.

geekpowerwtf 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:22

the big question is... he is 17 years old but he had not been eating grapes before? wow!

MissSunshinexox 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:47

Ydi for not giving him/her grapes ever in 17 years

kaylapple 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:57

either one works. your child is no dumbass!

hellonyancat 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:08

Well tell him and then he'll know. It might seem dumb but everyone has weird gaps in their knowledge. I'm more curious how he got to the age of 17 without eating grapes though.

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