Intimacy and Kids: Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving...

By Jayanka - 03/05/2018 05:00

Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 157

You deserved it 608

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 04:00

Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 690

You deserved it 941

Revelations

By ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 22/07/2014 17:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 374

You deserved it 44 680

We've all been there

By b…… - 28/09/2023 22:00

Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 159

Suspicious Minds

By Kelly - 29/11/2016 18:57

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 777

You deserved it 2 433

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 986

You deserved it 3 357

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 4 438

By Confuseddad - 16/02/2016 22:17 - United Kingdom

Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 568

You deserved it 1 647

They grow up so fast…

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 20:42 - United States - Lombard

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 629

You deserved it 5 421

By alealovespurple - 16/08/2009 20:04 - Canada

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 17 227

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 May 2018 5:13

All those guys could get convicted for child pornography! Then, they’d have to wade through a sea of middle-aged dicks.

Christina Winden 22

Thursday 3 May 2018 9:48

Have you heard about these new fangled devices call cell phones and the internet?

Comments

Davros 12

Friday 4 May 2018 20:23

Police became concerned when she kept trying to swipe right

QueenAfrodite 8

Friday 27 July 2018 18:47

Whoa

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The Top

Today, a girl I rejected, who is also a good friend, wrote on Facebook, “I’m never letting a guy get close to me again!” when I finally posted my new girlfriend. I avoided posting her before to avoid hurting her feelings because I knew she was still pining for me. Now I feel like an asshole and I lost a good friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 205

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 60 774

The Top

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 129

You deserved it 3 375

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 10 905

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 112

You deserved it 3 061

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 811

You deserved it 4 913

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 429

You deserved it 5 142

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 062

You deserved it 22 157