Kids: Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet...

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

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Same thing different taste

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 671

You deserved it 12 246

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 420

Make it stop

By dee - 03/07/2011 05:36 - United States

Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 6 457

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 4 700

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 13/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 24 989

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

By ash - 14/01/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 16 139

thatonegirlnic 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:14

He's a reverse sour patch kid. Sweet. Sour. Gone.

chrisstanford 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:11

Did you punish him?! Had I done that when I was little I would get timeout and a whopping

Comments

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:49

GOTTA KEEP THE PIMP HAND STRONG! It's never too early to start practicing.

jay_south 19

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:51

I've heard of the Terrible Twos, but that's just ridiculous.

AKAR2521 4

Monday 20 January 2014 3:03

obviously you dont have kids.

olpally 32

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:54

Stewie griffin???? Lol damn, what a little shit.

Stuffaluffagus 25

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:57

Well I hope you slapped him back

Baucis 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 17:28

So you would just let the kid slap you? This is what's wrong these days. Punishment is needed to keep the behavior in line.

FracturedMinds 21

Sunday 19 January 2014 19:36

Wouldn't say smack him back. Maybe a rolled up newspaper to the ass. Doesn't hurt really, but the noise ***** with him.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 19 January 2014 20:48

like a dog...

TheMathMajor 26

Sunday 19 January 2014 21:18

I'd just put him in time out and tell him to think about why what he did was wrong and don't come out until he's ready to apologies. It might take longer, but jeez the kid is two, there's no need to hit him. I don't have kids yet, but this is how my parents disciplined us, and before you say anything, it was very effective. If you want to use spanking as a way of punishment I'm not going to judge you, just saying there are ways to discipline a kid without hitting them.

yscpunkchick 14

Monday 20 January 2014 19:02

If you put a 2 year old in time out and tell them to think about why they're in trouble, they're going to think about that train set they've been playing with or the doll they can't seem to find. Not why they're in trouble.