Intimacy: Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady...

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 6 344

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 784

You deserved it 995

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 83

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 291

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 9 015

What do I get?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 19:01 - United States - Kula

Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 330

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 252

You deserved it 2 783

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 280

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 06:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 256

I miss him

By Anonymous - 24/02/2020 18:00

Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 454

kportal69 5

Monday 23 May 2011 19:07

that sucks. I've broken a bed. you just have to laugh and keep going which I'm sure was your intent but clearly not hers. keep up with that ****.

Miss_Michaela 10

Monday 23 May 2011 19:13

Next time you go out on the pull: "Hey there, little lady. I've been known to break a few beds".

Comments

salvorican 24

Monday 23 May 2011 19:17

Someone likes it rough ;)

dreamering 16

Monday 23 May 2011 19:19

3 years without exercising, the bed is out of shape.

lmaoatall 6

Monday 23 May 2011 19:24

two legs broke and that stopped you?!? know wonder you're on a dry spell. who the hell needs a bed anyways? there's the couch, table, dresser. even a washer or dryer can work. get creative op.

thebestof1984 0

Monday 23 May 2011 19:29

agreed!!

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 23 May 2011 19:33

floor shower car

FreebirdIII 1

Monday 23 May 2011 19:34

Can't forget about the carpet burn. it hurts later, but it is worth it.

noboundary 9

Monday 23 May 2011 20:48

OP could also place the mattress on the floor same crap.

GDIalex 11

Monday 23 May 2011 22:30

Creative commentators! :D Ceiling Wallpapers Chairs oops! I thought we're randomly naming something

ieatvegatarens 0

Monday 23 May 2011 19:27

man that does suck dude but hey it could be a sign that u were going to fast and u might have got her prego D: lol but just call her up and ask her out to dinner again and don't mess up round 2 ;D

dudeitsdanny 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:30

Yeah, because having rough, fast-paced sex means automatic pregnancy.

FreebirdIII 1

Monday 23 May 2011 19:30

They sure don't build Race Car beds like they used to.

Ugi 26

Monday 23 May 2011 19:32

That's really bad luck - time to buy a steel-framed bed! FYL, but sadly not your lady.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 23 May 2011 19:35

:-/ well that's lame I've broken a bed with a bf before we took it as a sign that things were going really well and kept going haha the fml here is that one or both of you is so seriously uptight something as simple as a bed breaking killed your mood/s