Intimacy: Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 983

You deserved it 7 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 9 655

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 2 172

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 110

You deserved it 4 333

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 236

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 680

You deserved it 3 610

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 958

You deserved it 4 473

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 3 531

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Mallorydomio 0

Friday 4 February 2011 12:09

Hahaha fatties need love too

realsdmf 4

Friday 4 February 2011 12:12

Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.

Comments

kayastein 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 22:48

lmao!

BikeAllDay818 6

Saturday 5 February 2011 23:18

ewww haha "hold on I have to lift my pouch before your can go in"

ThickHead 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 3:09

tell them to shut the **** up or give you cash to leave xD

danielle25 15

Sunday 6 February 2011 3:25

Wow what kind of bed those your roommate has? Must be good. If it can hold 800lbs.

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Sunday 6 February 2011 7:37

Or they did it on the floor.

tr1plethreat55 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 5:53

ahahahaha

doof_fisch 2

Sunday 6 February 2011 6:10

Makin' Bacon

tabasorus 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 7:49

LOLOL

gonzaval 0

Monday 7 February 2011 1:51

at least she gets some sex mixed with love .

EnterNameHere001 5

Monday 7 February 2011 5:00

Good Lord! That's unwholesome!

sulhaq 4

Monday 7 February 2011 16:24

how is that even possible. My ex-gf and I were 430 pounds combined and even we had trouble doing some things.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

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You deserved it 530

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You deserved it 3 208

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I agree, your life sucks 1 051

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Today, I'm still reeling from Xmas, as we got a tornado, power was out, and we got a heatwave warning with temperatures up to 37°C. Our power was off for 5 days. When it was restored, we got a flood warning, 150ml of rain, and no sign of it stopping anytime soon. Welcome to Christmas in Queensland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 108

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 202

You deserved it 21 870

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 821

You deserved it 3 255

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 152

Same thing different taste

Boundaries, dude!

We're all in hell

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