Intimacy: Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 983

You deserved it 7 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 9 655

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 2 172

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 110

You deserved it 4 333

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 236

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 680

You deserved it 3 610

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 958

You deserved it 4 473

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 3 531

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Mallorydomio 0

Friday 4 February 2011 12:09

Hahaha fatties need love too

realsdmf 4

Friday 4 February 2011 12:12

Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.

Comments

kwarrior66 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:36

ahahaha it's funny because there fat... ha

beaker38 5

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:49

hahahahahahahaha =[)

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:54

At least they're exercising.

RemixV4 1

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:58

This made me lol. Fav'd

swampstomper 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 4:04

I hope your on the ground floor

gman422011 4

Saturday 5 February 2011 4:15

way to go 147... you nailed it... its funny just thinking how jealous this OP is and how stupid others are for making fat jokes and wondering how they do it. lol at all the ignorant skinny people here who are just jealous they arent getting laid!

mandingo1 2

Saturday 5 February 2011 6:04

freaking hilarious.

nerdwithagun 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 6:07

This is the funniest FML I've ever read.

nidawi 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 6:32

Fat people need love too.

nynjapyrate 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 7:01

invite someone over and do the nasty in YOUR room. then have a screaming contest. at least ur mind wouldn't completely be on the fatasses next door :P