Kids: Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie,...

By hamster cookie - 17/10/2009 21:08 - France

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 305

You deserved it 5 087

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Same thing different taste

By sunil - 13/06/2014 22:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 616

You deserved it 9 923

Pests

By mom - 30/01/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 218

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 867

You deserved it 4 387

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 134

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 954

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 162

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 177

By Lucy - 06/03/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 993

You deserved it 2 595

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 43 076

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 701

You deserved it 18 300

Witchcraft_fml 4

Sunday 18 October 2009 1:52

At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.

Mihir 1

Sunday 18 October 2009 1:34

Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature

Comments

gpstyne 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:24

Fake

spartout 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 23:20

epicly funny

Destroy_Me 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 23:07

This is terribly sad but I can't help but laugh! :( Poor hamster.

Taravampire 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 0:03

aww! did he cry? XC

tacoman007 2

Thursday 31 December 2009 8:40

I know if i saw a hamster choking to death I wouldn't be laughing uncontrollably, but this is absolutely hilarious in the most sick, twisted way.

marycharles 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:14

hahahahahaahahhahHahahahahahha

koolkat14 0

Monday 1 February 2010 0:58

omg that's so sad！

twinscrplayer6 0

Friday 19 March 2010 14:19

I loled at this fml

lalalalady 0

Friday 30 July 2010 2:55

ha ha ha I love the way you phrased that. poor guy

quicheme45 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 22:36

LOL! Lmao! my favorite FML is this one! hilarious!

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 968

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 2 508

The Top

Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 2 638

Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML

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You deserved it 455

Today, I can't share most of the great things going on in my life with my family, because they will respond with lectures about indulging, or doubt about what is going on, and will refuse to continue talking, or say I am wrong when I speak the verifiable truth. I hate putting my family on information diets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 103

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 299

You deserved it 12 206

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 664

You deserved it 2 978

Today, after moving hundreds of miles to take care of my beloved grandmother and working like mad for a week to make the house cozy and accessible for her, it was finally time to bring her home. Or it would have been, if she hadn’t died in her sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 125