Kids: Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie,...

By hamster cookie - 17/10/2009 21:08 - France

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 305

You deserved it 5 087

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Same thing different taste

By sunil - 13/06/2014 22:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 616

You deserved it 9 923

Pests

By mom - 30/01/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 218

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 867

You deserved it 4 387

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 134

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 954

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 162

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 177

By Lucy - 06/03/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 993

You deserved it 2 595

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 43 076

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 701

You deserved it 18 300

Witchcraft_fml 4

Sunday 18 October 2009 1:52

At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.

Mihir 1

Sunday 18 October 2009 1:34

Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature

Comments

Biebz4Lyf10 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 21:59

wats the childrens book ur talkin about??

yawndiver 2

Saturday 14 May 2011 10:17

a valuable life lesson.

Loved_Kimiko 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 7:39

that is awesome!!!!

purplepillow98 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 21:16

Awwww I'm so sorry!!! I have a rat and this is why when I feed it stuff like that (not often) then I give it to her in small pieces.

MiSsGA17 2

Tuesday 12 July 2011 5:59

hahahahaha!!!! too funny!!!

Bobby64 29

Tuesday 19 July 2011 18:33

The wording on this is priceless. But FYL, OP.

demitheleopard 8

Friday 22 July 2011 3:37

This is one of the few FMLs that I have laughed at, then felt immensely guilty.

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 21:22

your son must be devastated. I'm sorty

damoki 8

Sunday 13 May 2012 0:52

Why is your child watching robot chicken?

TurkeySlab 9

Monday 10 September 2012 23:19

It makes me choke ;(

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The Top

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

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Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

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The Top

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

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You deserved it 4 015

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

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You deserved it 3 073

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 949

You deserved it 10 407

Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

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You deserved it 545

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

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You deserved it 5 558

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

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You deserved it 3 048