Kids: Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 05:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 1 843

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Same thing different taste

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

The Bathtub Incident

By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 137

Ewwwwww

By Ese - 12/10/2018 12:00

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 960

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

If it's brown, let it float around.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 359

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

By qwerty - 27/11/2018 22:08

Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 29

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 163

Next

Top comments

arano 29

Sunday 8 November 2015 0:48

Lmao. Shitblossom.

juicy_extasy 25

Sunday 8 November 2015 0:46

Take it out of your mouth and stick it on her face. Ew!

Comments

rebeccacmlc 22

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:01

Ew that's disgusting ... What a brat.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:05

Sell the little **** to the circus. They're always looking to buy shitblossoms.

Jae_Hellyun 17

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:20

Would have been the day I slapped the hell out of Her too...

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:23

"Shitblossom" – It's amazing how one word can just make an FML.

amileah13 26

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:35

Aren't siblings lovely? *says sarcastically*

Solano2580 24

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:49

She's 9 years old OP, you deserve it.

ZaiopePerSe 15

Sunday 8 November 2015 11:12

just because she's young doesn't mean the older sibling deserved it. just makes it slightly more understandable

MonstreBelle 29

Sunday 8 November 2015 1:58

Start blowing snot rockets into her food

lvg_fml 10

Sunday 8 November 2015 2:00

Sounds like something to discuss with your parents. If you go for revenge she'll probably go to them and you'll be the one in trouble

wanttobe 8

Sunday 8 November 2015 2:13

that's utterly disgusting. teach her a lesson by covering her pillow in feesh snot :-) better now than later. the jokes, teasing and pranks will only worsen if that's her behavior

frenchyB 14

Sunday 8 November 2015 2:51

It's payback time girlie!

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 43 620

The Top

Today, my Uber driver tried to detour my trip home to take me on a date to Waffle House, even after I showed zero interest and talked about my boyfriend non-stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 314

You deserved it 380

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 036

You deserved it 52 155

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 024

You deserved it 8 242

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw my ex with her new partner. I tried to hide from them, but ended up getting locked in the store after closing time. I had to call security to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 923

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 527

Today, while preparing to celebrate my daughter's second birthday, we all discovered we got a present: COVID. We're all vaccinated, but still feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 392