Work: Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was...

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 2 130

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Same thing different taste

By nzkristy - 03/01/2010 10:59 - New Zealand

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 950

You deserved it 2 281

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 6 445

By Phabia - 21/04/2015 00:16 - United States - Newton

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 2 338

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 15:28 - Canada - Sooke

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 531

You deserved it 3 022

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 113

You deserved it 4 257

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 180

You deserved it 2 799

By Ineedlotsofwater - 23/01/2015 16:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 737

Suspicion

By vaylosa - 22/02/2015 20:36

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 582

You deserved it 3 617

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 195

You deserved it 8 672

Sketchy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 299

You deserved it 3 459

jDCrackpot 7

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:05

Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.

alstbv12 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:04

Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.

Comments

triggerit 5

Tuesday 6 March 2012 16:46

Op you have to pee at the boss table...if he so suspicious

Candice0687 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 16:50

So what's the big deal, unless your worried that your not going to pass?

phantumgrey 6

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:05

It's his right as a boss to have you tested I don't see how this is a FML

robberry 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:22

Do you have allergies every day; especially after your lunch break?

boredinnapoleon 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:37

dude...just piss and get on with life...I mean...that's a FML? Really?

wlddog 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:49

Today I had to watch a stranger piss in a cup. I am pretty sure she was really sick. I then had to take her piss and do tests on it. FML.

Kristoffer 35

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:13

I agree with him doing the drug test, but that doesn't make your life suck less for having to do it.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:15

Once, my boss instructed me to pee in a cup & leave it in the bathroom for him to collect when I finished. After he retrieved it, I apologized for 'having the shakes' while overfilling the cup!!

gracehi 31

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:16

Well at least you weren't on drugs! I'm in the Navy and have to do that on a pretty regular basis. And the stalls at boot camp had no doors. As a result I can now take a piss while looking someone directly in the eye.

wlddog 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:19

Today I had to take piss from a crack head that claimed to be sick. Not only did I have to stand there and watch her piss all over the place, I had to the take the piss from her and do tests on it. FML.