By Broke - 27/07/2016 16:38 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I are looking at places to stay to meet for the first time. I figured renting a small vacation apartment would be ideal because he's not able to help pay because he isn't working and I'm not rich. He's telling me he can only be comfortable in 4 star hotels. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 004
You deserved it 2 331

Same thing different taste

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scoobysnarks 15

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER. There is no way on God's green earth that you should be meeting this fellow for the first time in an vacation apartment. Not in a four-star hotel. Maybe in a mall's food court, where there are lots of people around, especially if you can arrange to have friends looking out for you, and it's even better if he can meet your friends as well. You do NOT need to meet this fellow alone, in a secluded area, period. The request for four-star hotels is just plain ridiculous, it's icing on the cake. That's just him being a douchebag. In my family, when we're in the car and there's a discussion about where we're going, we sometimes refer to the "steering wheel vote" that overrides all other votes. If you're paying for something and he's not working - you have that vote. He doesn't. He can say "Gosh, I'd love to stay at the W" and YOU get to say "Hey, fleabag motel, here we go!," if that's what you want. HE can get a job, if he wants to decide. But seriously, this has so many red flags that it's hard to see anything BUT the red flags. Avoid. Good luck.

Definitely a red flag. Even if you're not rich, some people will use you for every dime and everything else you have to offer. Be cautious, OP, and I hope things work in your favor!

moo77_fml 20

Defo not partner material!! Pls stay safe .. Alarm bells are ringing

thunderniron 22

Rent the 4 star hotel, cancel his flight and have yourself a great little fun-filled getaway.

I agree with virtually everyone else. This guy sounds like a loser! I used to date someone like this. Expects you to pay bc of money troubles but wants the best of everything. He's not a man and he's not worth your time.

He's gonna have to learn to be comfortable on the street, if he keeps that attitude up.

A different take on the red flag. If he is taking the ldr as serious as you, and you haven't been intimate yet, he'd wanna jump you ASAP, regardless of the environment. You could have found a mamas boy, but more likely, he's just not that into you, or worse, just something on the side. Take the advice of the others here, public places and such.

I would have to say don't even bother meeting for the first time. Red flags flying all over the place.

Tell him beggars can't be choosers. If he wants a four-star hotel, HE can cough up the money for it. Otherwise, he has to suck it up and find a way to enjoy the vacation apartment that YOU (presumably) are paying for. Although given his four-star snobbery, I'd be tempted to ditch the guy. He sounds like he's not going to be much fun.

Ok, I wonder if op's bf is only requesting a 4-star hotel because he is afraid for the same reasons that we are warning op about? Perhaps he figures if they must stay together (we don't know if this was his or op's idea), it'd be best if they stayed somewhere in a nice location, with security, as well as potentially lots of other guests. Perhaps he doesn't want to stay at an apartment because he's afraid that it would be too removed from the public eye should op be psycho once they meet. While op's boyfriend may or may not be embarrassed about his lack of financial stability, let's not assume that he's trying to be anything more than cautious for his own safety. He might have his mom, sister, and friends getting after him for staying with someone he met online... Op could be the one pushing the issue of staying together in the first place. There are always two sides to every story.

scoobysnarks 15

It's possible, but unlikely; the security a four-star hotel would provide would only be in the public spaces, not the private spaces, and if they're sharing a room they'd be in private more than in public. You COULD be right, I'll grant you that, but there's more risk than anything else here.

I have never met a man that thought like that. Ever. Men can adapt in seedy situations easier than a woman. I'm not saying men cant be victims but if a man is attracted to you and wants to meet, he'd agree to almost anything.